(L-R: Melissa, Anna & Leigh) The Entity Dance Collective dancers @ the Studio, Newtown.

The best things in life..
are the ones that help you procrastinate doing the worst things in life :)

I had to toss up between washing the toilet or flickr-ing so i went for flickr-ing. Finished up the short set i did for the Entity Dance Collective practice session. It was a really rushed shoot and i went home feeling like i coulda shoulda woulda have done better at it and worrying that once on the larger comp screen, nothing would turn out right but i have to say that all that praying for it to work out must've helped. Ended up quite happy with some of the shots, got to meet some lovely people and learned the value of instinct over intellect in the process.

It's wonderful when you realise that wonderful things can come out of less than perfect circumstances. It makes possibilities seem possible once more... if only we could just believe.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

One a different note. Time for some geekery! These are some really cool links i've come across recently for online flickr related stuff. If you're not on flickr - get with the program! hehe...

Geekery #1:
wallpapr

what: Beta version of cool search tool that lets you enter keywords and search for a random selection of large sized/high resolution images on flickr that are (averagely) computer wallpaper sized. As far as i checked, all the images that the engine shows up are under creative commons licenses so as far as i can tell it doesn't help people rip off copyrighted or protected works - which is great :)
link: wallpapr


Geekery #2:
groupr

what: With the tagline "A bird's eye view of your flickr groups" this tool gives you a new way of browsing flickr through flickr group pools. Just type in your (or someone else's) flickr nickname, hit search, and a page comes up with a random selection of photos from a number of groups that that flickr person belongs to. Simple customisable functions let you choose the number of groups to be included in the search.
link: groupr

Now go ye thereforth and waste time on flickr! :D

*p/s: no, this isn't a paid post and yes, i wish it was.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

More from the Entity Dance Collective rehearsal series:
(hit the thumbnails to get to the larger version and to got to the photostream )

Labels: Australia, conceptual, dancer, geekery, photography, Sydney, theatre

The CircuSoc (Circus Society) performers from my uni during their practice @ the Physics Lawn. Had a blast shooting em.. (strobist info: 2 strobes at equal power...1/8 i think... one on left, one on right & equal distance from performers). Click here for more from that series.


Been obsessing over photography for the better part of the week since the Circusoc shoot last last monday. Lights are addictive... O_o" On a good note though.. my gel filters swatchbook just arrived today!! FREE... and delivered right to my doorstep *bless those boys at at the local lighting store*. Got a shoot with some contemporary dancers this afternoon at a little church studio in Newtown. Praying for amazing natural light and a great time with them - can't wait!

Looking to be a good day today. The sun's out, i have an orange cake in the oven *mmsss* and at the last minute managed to borrow a set of wireless flash triggers.... *happiness*....i'm such a geek ;p

Oh well, updates later. For now - tra la :D

Labels: Australia, conceptual, photography, Sydney, UNSW, Weird stuff

Walk-by Shootings@Balmain, 2008.

"Return to sender, address unknown,
No such number, no such zone.."
-Elvis Presley

Sometimes what you give isn't what you get.

Labels: black and white, conceptual, photography, Sydney

Cockatoo Island, 2008.

Just wondering if...
I'll ever see things the same way again.

At times i wonder if our nomadic type of living is really all it's cut out to be - whether 'reality' is just an illusion like reflections in water.. At times, memories seem no more than pretty pictures that exist only in our heads.. impressions not of what is but of what we want things to be. All the same, when we've glimpsed ideals, can we ever be satisfied with anything less?

Just thinking..
that there are a lot of things that i kinda miss..
and feeling a bit sad that all these times and things that i remember may not even have happened the way i think i remember them.

Moments are far too fleeting, far too fragile..

Labels: conceptual, photography, self-reflection, water

It's time for a clean up, shake down, clear out...
It's time for change, it's time for something new.

It's time i actually got round to doing all the things i said i would do.

Yup. Finally.

Starting with Click Chick v2.0!! Huge thanks to Patricia Low for her lovely camera-angel doodles (*big HUGS*) and BittBox for the Photoshop CS brushes (amazing stuff!).

I'm naming it 'remember the rain' in memory of the many quiet nights spent beside my bedroom window tracing raindrops with my fingers and musing about everything, nothing and all that lies in-between.

Tra la...

Labels: blog template, conceptual, emo, renders, self-reflection, work

"Sails", Sydney Biennale 2008@Cockatoo Island, Sydney.


When the illusion of anonymity is shattered
a certain joy of freedom is lost

Maybe ignorance really is bliss and maybe if we really tried hard enough, we may start to believe it.

It's been a while since i last blogged. I think i finally feel like everyone's forgotten enough about this dusty lil blog so that i can blog in blissful anonymity again. It's strange... thinking that people i know actually read this thing makes me feel self-conscious and yet thinking that no one cares enough to read it also makes me feel a lil dejected. Sometimes i wish i'd just make up my mind *blek*

------------------

The great thing about dreams is that they stay in your head. They stay illusions, they stay impossible and they stay just as we intend them to be. The problem with having great ideas is that on the rare occasion that one has to realise them, in the bright glare of reality they sometimes don't seem that great after all... hmm..

-------------------

In an attempt to distract myself from watching too many episodes of 'Will & Grace' in one night, i took to doing some of those "silly internet personality quizzes" clicking randomly on any quiz title that appeared vaguely interesting (or mind-numbing). After finding out what type of chocolate i am (dark chocolate), what type of brain i have (balanced brain ;D) and which 80s song i am (not telling ;p), i clicked on a quiz titled "why are you still single?" - partly for amusement, partly because it was taunting me - and began randomly clicking away at the multiple choice answers.

After half-lucidly clicking on the "finish" button, i sat, watched the little 'loading' bar slowly turn blue and contemplated all the random useless possible "results" that would soon pop up on my screen. Surprisingly, what popped up next kind of made me stop and think a bit...

The answer to my question apparently is that i "don't want to slow down":

"Whether you're working all hours, busy with school, or planning a cross-country move, it sounds like you just don't have time for anyone else in your life...right now, that is. Your timing may be off in other aspects, too. Chances are, you've met that perfect person who just so happens to be married or planning their own cross-country move. So take a step back for a moment. Is there something underlying this? Could it be you're afraid to get involved for some reason or another, and are therefore attracted to people who are simply unavailable?"

Convicted by a computer.. now that's sad ;p

And to think i wondered why i stopped blogging for so long *sigh*

O_o"

Labels: black and white, breathe, conceptual, emo, Mandy, photography, self-reflection, Sydney Biennale 2008

Following the leader, the leader, the leader,
following the leader where ever he may go..

Sometimes i wonder...
why i even bother at all.



Ever get the feeling that no matter what you do or how good your intentions/aspirations/ideas it all don't matter in the end? No matter what you intend to communicate to someone else it somehow has a way of turning out completely different leaving you exasperated and thinking "what's the point of trying so hard to be nice and likable and good and perfect" when it's perfectly easy to be quite the opposite - almost too easy *blek*...

Another pointless rant about another pointless subject.

Sometimes it feels like i waste too much time living in my head and not enough time actually living O_o"

i need a life.

Labels: conceptual, emo, photography, self-reflection, street photography, Sydney

My narcissistic moment - basking (literally) in the Sydney sunlight.

I've always loved..
Open doorways and all the possibilities they bring.

The golden light of sunset, the slightest breeze, old weathered doorways with glass panels that catch the soft rays...

Maybe the long grey weekend was worth it after all.

*tra la..*

Labels: Australia, conceptual, emo, photography, Sydney, urban life

Little hearts on the streets of Kiama, Australia.

i heart you..
i don't want to but i do..

Blogs are kinda like street art. You can say want you want to and need to say in the most public way and still stay discreet. It's that outlet for all the pent up things you want to say. It listens, it understands, it willingly accepts all the linguistic regurgitation you throw its way.

Sometimes i reckon my blog knows me better than most people do. I tell it when i'm sad, when i'm happy and when i'm drifting somewhere in between. I tell it when i need a break, when i feel broken and when i finally break free... and all the while, still maintaining the ambiguity of the truth.

Forget camwhoring, cryptic blogging is the way to go. It's easier than etching a statement into the back of a toilet door and more sanitary too. When you think about it, blogs are rather like virtual vandalism victims. We carve into them our random thoughts, musings, opinions, feelings, aspirations, confessions, confusion, perversions, fears, anger, belief - anything that tells the world that "Hey, guess what? Grace was here - she has something to say and she wants you to know that."

It's simple really. On some level, all we want is someone to hear what we have to say..
and with virtual vandalism, we don't actually have to say it to say it.

Labels: Australia, conceptual, photography, sky, Sony Ericsson K610i, street photography, Sydney

From my window, i watch the world go by
i watch as they laugh, as they burn, as they cry - the fire @ Kingsford, 16th Nov '07


burn.

to live
to lie
to need
to try

to stop
to breathe
to wait
to leave

to feel
to learn
to steal
to burn

to run
away
to push
to stray

to hurt
to hide
to keep
inside

the real
the truth
the girl
the me.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Just because you can't see it, it doesn't mean that it isn't there..

Labels: Australia, black and white, conceptual, photography, sky, street photography, Sydney, urban life

The Afternoon After - the design studio arvo aftermath...

I love brown paper packages all tied up in string.. and the excitement upon opening to see what they bring!

In a good mood today as you can tell. Semester's not over yet but at least hell week is. Ooh.. and my parcel arrived! I got me a brand new Ricoh Caplio R6 digital camera that i won in a photo contest *whee*.. it's nice and silver and shiny and small enough to fit in a purse or pocket. Haven't decided whether i want to keep it as a spare pocket cam or sell it. Whoo-hoo first real photo comp. i've won *happy dance*

Reviews bout the little Caplio seem pretty good. If anyone's interested in buying it from me, drop me an email ;) ...for now, it's still sitting pretty in its little box, smiling eagerly at me.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Speaking of competitions.. one of my blog readers (ooh i've been dying to say that..) dropped me an email about this kwel competition open to ALL MALAYSIANS. Yeap, it's that easy, if you're Malaysian and you have creative ideas, you can join it. Details as follows:

What: Postcards Competition

by Who: Apostrophe - a m'sian-based creative organisation aimed at encouraging all things creative back home in good ol' tanah melayu.

How: just draw, snap, cut, stick, paint or click up something creative based on the theme of "1:30pm" then send it in to them via email or MMS (for digi users). Go check their website for details.

Why should i join: Winners get an all-expense paid trip to Bangkok and a Sony Ericsson hp.. *woo-hoo*

When: It's on now but closing date's coming up soon on the 16th of Nov, 2007.


Oh yeah, you can enter as many time as you want too (i love that.. it's so hard to pick your faves to submit). Entries can be individual (single) submissions or sets of up to 5 images under the same title. get working people! There can never be too many arts initiatives back home.. and whenever one comes round i get pretty psyched.

Anyways, i'm bookmarking apostrophe - i like.

Labels: Australia, black and white, conceptual, photography, UNSW, work

There is nothing that reveals a person's real personality and maturity more than
spending an intense, stressed and sleep deprived 2 days with them in studio...

There is a strange thing that happens when you chuck a bunch of stressed out, sleepy people in a studio together, lock the door and throw away the keys.

Sometimes, it's absolute magic and people who seem generally subtle and subdued pleasantly surprise you by stepping up to the plate and holding their own under pressure. Other times, one gets to witness the rather spectacular transmutation of a perfectly capable human being into something quite the opposite.

While i much prefer working with people who can up their game when it matters the most, there is also something important that can be learned from working with the later - perhaps something more relevant to both you and the other person as well. After all, part of the learning process in uni is about trying things out in order to discover your strengths and weaknesses as a person - and there is no better way to reveal them than through high-pressure situations like these.

Being under such focussed pressure draws out the most primal instincts in a person. It is during that time that one stops over-thinking or trying to logically analyse things and starts acting instinctively. Some instinctively rise up to the challenge and some don't - it's a simple test of character that still surprises me every time.

Me and design studio - it's a love-hate relationship.

It's my 8th time doing this now..
and yet there is always something new to learn.

Labels: Australia, black and white, conceptual, design, photography, UNSW, work

Sydney street stories.
"...and time moves on like a train, that disappears into the night sky." - This Old Love' by Lior



'Tis a tad bit sad when..
you have to read you friend's blog to find out what's really going on in their heads.

While mindlessly procrastinating doing work, i decided to blog hop my friends' blogs on my link list. Admittedly i don't blog read everyday as i'd like to think that ACTUAL human contact says much more than reading something online... i was wronggg...

It seems that for some unexplainable strange reason, people tend to be more open and vulnerable (albeit a tad ambiguous sometimes) in a public blog or facebook/friendster/myspace/(insert online friend network name here) post than they are in person.

There's an odd sense of relief in admitting your true feelings and thoughts for all the world to see. Somehow, doing that via some text/pictures/html code gibberish posted online makes it easier... distant... safer...

We trade letters for emails, calls for instant messages, hugs for digital "pokes" (what's a facebook poke anyways?? O_o"), real smiles for emoticon ones... and yet intentions are true and we are probably more likely to express those intentions now that an alternative (and less scary) medium exists..

We are a strange people.

Very strange indeed.

Labels: Australia, conceptual, photography, Sony Ericsson K610i, street photography, urban life, Weird stuff

Taken at Pekeliling Flats, KL.

Sometimes we bust down doors
only to realise that we needed them there after all...

Life's strange that way. We spend so much time trying to get to the other side of that door and when we get through it, it's not quite what we expected.

Life's strange that way.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

It's quiet out; and
i hear my thoughts; they
ripple through silences; that
mark miles of space; still
flitting in spasm; on
my window pane; are
wandering musings; of
passion and pain.


It's so crisp and quiet out tonight that i felt somehow obliged to take a short break from doing work to stick my head out of the window and think. From my window i watch the lights in nearby shops and apartments go out - one by one. The shadows move, live, breathe - then they are no more. As i watch the world go by, watch these ppl live their lives, i wonder what they're thinking, what they're feeling, who they are, whether they're looking out their window wondering the same thing. My thought run to random ppl across the globe and i imagine a young African boy waking up in a dessert land, looking out the window squinting at the bright morning sun, getting ready for a long day helping his father mind the animals - to an old woman in China sitting in a rocking chair staring out of her weathered wood windows, listening to old chinese records with the hum and click of a standing fan in the background - to a young Greek fisherman returning home from a bout out at sea, looking out the porthole in his boat thinking about his beautiful bride-to-be waiting eagerly for his return..

The list goes on and i imagine all these people, sharing this one moment with me - a moment of looking out a window and just thinking, just wondering if any one out there is thinking of us too.

And as i look out my window into the clear dark Sydney sky, the enormity of everything around reminds me how big a difference a little perspective makes on the way we see things. Things always look different when we finally see the bigger picture.

Labels: black and white, conceptual, pekeliling flats, photography, self-reflection

Red or blue
it's still the same
still your ball
still your game

Worn out brushes
washed up scene
limp and useless
painted dream..

--------------------------------------------------

Some things catch you by surprise and slap you in the head - leave you winded, knocked up inside and a lil queasy... and yet, i'd rather know them now then go on living inside a bubble, go on guessing or go on hoping.

Either way, it still feels like crap...

...and you have no idea.

Labels: conceptual, photography

'My frame of mind' - Shot on Ilford HP5

Why?




When up is down and down is up
Out is in and in is out
What's found is lost and lost i find
No rest, no resolve,
no piece of mind..

Labels: black and white, conceptual, photography, street photography

Ghosts@Queenscliff, Melbourne.. (yes Albert, i finally dug out my IR filter hehe didn't have a tripod tho...)

We spend a fairly large amount of time in the in betweens..

In between destinations, in between thoughts, in between relationships, life situations, decisions, this life and the next... it's all highly unsettling. At times it feels as if we are merely shadows floating in a dream.

Time passes
Faces change
Landscapes evolve

and still time goes on..
and still we exist..
and still we live and die and live again..

..like a clock that keeps ticking with no hour hand or minute hand.. just the seconds that keep ticking away. No up no down, no past no future.. just time - just moving time.

And so we go on. We wake and sleep and eat and work and live just waiting for that inevitable day of demise before we greet our Maker. I dream of the day when i will have all the mysteries of the world explained to me. The day when everything will finally make sense. But will we ever truly know all it is that we seek? And even if we know, will be satisfied?

Time is a rather cruel concept.. it flees when you need it and lingers when you don't.. maybe time isn't as constant as we think..

I'm rambling.. procrastinating again as you can tell.. Hokay.. back to work now.

Hope you caught the lunar eclipse tonight.. the moon was a lovely murky red-brown colour.

Labels: Australia, conceptual, emo, IR

There are times when i feel amazingly lost & alone..

uprooted

displaced

frustrated

confused

just wondering and waiting for that which constantly eludes me..


I think the grey skies are getting to my head.. too many cold, rainy days on this island make me miss the warm hugs of home.

Just wallowing in a big bout of emo-ness at the moment.. i should sleep it off.. *blek*

----------------------------------------------------------------

"Thought you had
all the answers
to rest your heart upon
But something happens,
don't see it coming, now
you can't stop yourself.
Now you're out there swimming
In the deep.

Life keeps tumbling your heart in circles
till you... Let go.
Till you shed your pride, and you climb to heaven,
and you throw yourself off.
Now you're out there spinning
In the deep.

And now you're out there spinning..
In the deep.

In the silence,
all your secrets, will
raise their worried heads.
Well, you can pin yourself back together,
to who you thought you were.
Now you're out there livin'
In the deep.

Now you're out there spinning..
swimming..
In the deep.."

- In the Deep, Bird York

Click this (http://youtube.com/watch?v=U_FRluQgYpI) to hear the song.. shtoopid blogspot won't let me upload vids today..

Labels: conceptual, emo, photography

"We are all, in a sense, in a constant state of 'becoming' rather than 'being'. "
- Harry Stephens

I was in my Theory of Form class today and of all the things that Harry said, this statement struck me the most. Life in a state of flux is, ironically, life at a constant.

The idea that our 'being' (as in 'existing') is inextricably linked to our 'becoming' (constant state of change) is amazingly fascinating... with that in mind, people then are not so much finished works of art as they are works in progress.. completely incomplete if you will.

I've been quite into this idea recently.. quietly watching life unfold.

One of my favourite times of day is walking down the main walkway in uni when the sun is setting. Watching the sky sink from a brilliant blue to a golden haze, i can't help but wonder why it is that people only want to see the end product.. if only we appreciated the beauty of the works in progress, we would see the whole sunset not just the dark night sky...

Labels: Australia, conceptual, emo, photography, sky, Sony Ericsson K610i, Sydney, UNSW

I'm in the mood for random musings tonight.



In the mood for talking to myself in the quite spaces in my head. In the kind of mood that's warily accompanied by a mellow thumping feeling that resides in the deep crevices of one's heart. The kind that evokes long sighs for reasons beyond one's understanding.

Maybe it was triggered by the ethereal lushness and driving pulse of Steve Reich's Tehillim which we went to see performed today. Maybe it was the fried chicken. Maybe it was spending the day home alone or watching people cuddle on the streets to keep warm or spending too much time undulating between sleep and wake or the funky cold weather or a myriad of other random things. Regardless, it's insisting on being unleashed in some form and a blog update somehow seemed to make sense (?)...

Life in Sydney has been a different kind of same since i've come back. Kick starting a new sem seems a lot harder this time around and mulling about in dream time has seemed like a far better option than trudging around in the light of day.

Too many thoughts and emotions floating around inside while everything else feels like sinking. It is a wonder that the human heart can feel two completely opposite things at once. There is a part that stretches to break the tide and reach into the warm dry light of the sun and yet another that longs to give in to the soothing murky blue embrace of the waters.

Suspended somewhere in between, you find yourself - detached from place and time - watching the silent world pass by - a part of yet apart from. And it is then that you know that all we see is but a dream. A temporal imagining of life as we want to see it.

In a sense, at any given moment, everyone leads the same life at the same time in the same way. And yet, we all come away with our own individual versions of a perception of the truth - truth that is translated into memories that willingly alter their form with the rise and fall of the tides of time.

The fragile mist of our existence in this Earthly life fills me with a longing to understand that which is beyond all this. It fills me with an unending curiosity of what is to come. What is beyond the temporal. Each time an unanswered question passes me by, that deep thumping inside grows heavier and longer as once again the limitations of my own comprehension confronts me and reminds me that i am only human.

Labels: black and white, conceptual, emo, music, photography