Wednesday, August 29, 2007
The 'In Betweens'

Ghosts@Queenscliff, Melbourne.. (yes Albert, i finally dug out my IR filter hehe didn't have a tripod tho...)

We spend a fairly large amount of time in the in betweens..

In between destinations, in between thoughts, in between relationships, life situations, decisions, this life and the next... it's all highly unsettling. At times it feels as if we are merely shadows floating in a dream.

Time passes
Faces change
Landscapes evolve

and still time goes on..
and still we exist..
and still we live and die and live again.. a clock that keeps ticking with no hour hand or minute hand.. just the seconds that keep ticking away. No up no down, no past no future.. just time - just moving time.

And so we go on. We wake and sleep and eat and work and live just waiting for that inevitable day of demise before we greet our Maker. I dream of the day when i will have all the mysteries of the world explained to me. The day when everything will finally make sense. But will we ever truly know all it is that we seek? And even if we know, will be satisfied?

Time is a rather cruel concept.. it flees when you need it and lingers when you don't.. maybe time isn't as constant as we think..

I'm rambling.. procrastinating again as you can tell.. Hokay.. back to work now.

Hope you caught the lunar eclipse tonight.. the moon was a lovely murky red-brown colour.

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Friday, August 24, 2007
Wondering & Waiting

There are times when i feel amazingly lost & alone..





just wondering and waiting for that which constantly eludes me..

I think the grey skies are getting to my head.. too many cold, rainy days on this island make me miss the warm hugs of home.

Just wallowing in a big bout of emo-ness at the moment.. i should sleep it off.. *blek*


"Thought you had
all the answers
to rest your heart upon
But something happens,
don't see it coming, now
you can't stop yourself.
Now you're out there swimming
In the deep.

Life keeps tumbling your heart in circles
till you... Let go.
Till you shed your pride, and you climb to heaven,
and you throw yourself off.
Now you're out there spinning
In the deep.

And now you're out there spinning..
In the deep.

In the silence,
all your secrets, will
raise their worried heads.
Well, you can pin yourself back together,
to who you thought you were.
Now you're out there livin'
In the deep.

Now you're out there spinning..
In the deep.."

- In the Deep, Bird York

Click this ( to hear the song.. shtoopid blogspot won't let me upload vids today..

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Friday, August 17, 2007
Tales of The Fudge Fairy & The Fiesty Fudge
I just did the most random thing...

It was 2am and i couldn't sleep and i couldn't do work.... so i decided to make fudge :D
Sticky, sweet, utterly unhealthy fudge. Don't know why but i just felt like making it and it seemed like a good idea at the time.

So i did.

If you've ever made fudge you'll know that it's a fierce little candy when it's cooking.. it bubbles ferociously and threatens to erupt out of the pot even though the actual liquid itself is less that 1/4 the height of the pot. The more it boils down the more feisty it seems to get (and the higher up the pot sides it seems to climb). It fills the house with this amazingly yummy smell of butter and milk and syrup all cooking happily together.. It has a wonderfully vibrant "bubbly" sound too.. *nice* Quite the sensory experience this whole 'making fudge' thing..

Me feels like a Fudge Fairy bestowing fudge upon those who need a bit of sugar (okay, a LOT) to brighten their day :D

Now if only it will harden properly and not keep crumbling to pieces *sobs*

The thought of a warm pan of buttermilk (it smells and tastes like butter and milk therefore the it must be buttermilk.. right??) and chocolate layered fudge on the counter top kinda makes me all warm and fuzzy inside :D

I think i can sleep now...

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Friday, August 10, 2007

What's better than camwhoring with a film camera? Camwhoring with a fish-eye lens on a film camera...

There's nothing worse than having something to say..
and not being able to say it.

I need to claw something right now...


Life... in progress

"We are all, in a sense, in a constant state of 'becoming' rather than 'being'. "
- Harry Stephens

I was in my Theory of Form class today and of all the things that Harry said, this statement struck me the most. Life in a state of flux is, ironically, life at a constant.

The idea that our 'being' (as in 'existing') is inextricably linked to our 'becoming' (constant state of change) is amazingly fascinating... with that in mind, people then are not so much finished works of art as they are works in progress.. completely incomplete if you will.

I've been quite into this idea recently.. quietly watching life unfold.

One of my favourite times of day is walking down the main walkway in uni when the sun is setting. Watching the sky sink from a brilliant blue to a golden haze, i can't help but wonder why it is that people only want to see the end product.. if only we appreciated the beauty of the works in progress, we would see the whole sunset not just the dark night sky...

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Sunday, August 05, 2007
In The Deep

I'm in the mood for random musings tonight.

In the mood for talking to myself in the quite spaces in my head. In the kind of mood that's warily accompanied by a mellow thumping feeling that resides in the deep crevices of one's heart. The kind that evokes long sighs for reasons beyond one's understanding.

Maybe it was triggered by the ethereal lushness and driving pulse of Steve Reich's Tehillim which we went to see performed today. Maybe it was the fried chicken. Maybe it was spending the day home alone or watching people cuddle on the streets to keep warm or spending too much time undulating between sleep and wake or the funky cold weather or a myriad of other random things. Regardless, it's insisting on being unleashed in some form and a blog update somehow seemed to make sense (?)...

Life in Sydney has been a different kind of same since i've come back. Kick starting a new sem seems a lot harder this time around and mulling about in dream time has seemed like a far better option than trudging around in the light of day.

Too many thoughts and emotions floating around inside while everything else feels like sinking. It is a wonder that the human heart can feel two completely opposite things at once. There is a part that stretches to break the tide and reach into the warm dry light of the sun and yet another that longs to give in to the soothing murky blue embrace of the waters.

Suspended somewhere in between, you find yourself - detached from place and time - watching the silent world pass by - a part of yet apart from. And it is then that you know that all we see is but a dream. A temporal imagining of life as we want to see it.

In a sense, at any given moment, everyone leads the same life at the same time in the same way. And yet, we all come away with our own individual versions of a perception of the truth - truth that is translated into memories that willingly alter their form with the rise and fall of the tides of time.

The fragile mist of our existence in this Earthly life fills me with a longing to understand that which is beyond all this. It fills me with an unending curiosity of what is to come. What is beyond the temporal. Each time an unanswered question passes me by, that deep thumping inside grows heavier and longer as once again the limitations of my own comprehension confronts me and reminds me that i am only human.

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