I am a dancer
No shoes, no dress, no spotlight or stage
No colour, no creed, nor restriction on age

No jury, no training, no cheers, no leeers
I dance as i feel - no limits, no fears

I dance in the grass with the wind in my hair
I dance on the pavement - gray, cold and bare

I dance in the rain and the heat of the sun
I dance when i feel i can no longer run

It's my release, my light and escape
So i dance and i dance till my bare feet break

Then i smile, get up, and dance a while more
For with dance my tomorrows, will be better, i'm sure

A dancer I am and a dancer I'll be
Even if my dancing is only for me...

:)

Labels: ACP Lighting, dancer, model, photography, self-reflection, Sydney

Me on a rooftop - high up and on the edge, it made me feel alive. Some really old shots taken at the Pekeliling flats. View Large On Black

I smell a storm coming
and i'm not sure what it means..

I once read somewhere that our bodies naturally crave the thing that we need the most at any given time. Some crave for food, some crave attention, some crave for the presence of others. I crave for certain songs.

It's an itch i can't describe but sometimes during the day i'll just really really really need to listen to a certain song. The moment i hear it though, something seems to melt inside. It's my drug and i am satisfied - for that moment, everything feels right.

Today i craved for Dream A Little Dream of Me (Louis Armstrong and Ella Fitzgerald) which i had on replay several times. Then i craved for Somewhere Over the Rainbow (Eva Cassidy). Then it was downhill from there..

Another mellow night wondering why i'm having another mellow night.
Another mellow night just wondering.

Labels: pekeliling flats, photography, self-reflection

Rufus (Fallen Leaves cast 2009) whom i thank for being one of the most quietly open and honest people i've ever met and photographed.View this Large On Black

It's amazing how the simplest statements
can reveal the greatest truth.

And just like that, it becomes clear. You notice things that were staring you in the face. You look back in retrospect and trace the way things all came together. You see the present and understand it as a culmination of the past and future colliding in the moment, at this time.

...then nothingness. Just a clear quiet nothingness. You hold your breath and suddenly you don't need to breathe. Everything seems suspended, numb, but strangely not entirely unpleasant. You can see things now from a distance and in its entirety. It makes sense.

I like those moments. Too bad they don't last very long.

You blink and it's over. By the next breath you could have sworn it was never there to begin with. Then you return to wondering what it would be like if you really could see the big picture. You're back at the begining but it's different somehow. There's a knowing now yet there's still this element of uncertainty - an unpredictability that intrigues us.

That's why we do it. We want to know. We never really do in the end yet sometimes, if we're lucky, we get glimpses of truth triggered by accidently moments of honesty... and to some extent, that's enough.

And that's why we do it - to know it's there.

Labels: fallen leaves, photography, self-reflection

Adelaide Road trip 2009 View Large On Black

Normality is overrated..
then again so is the extraordinary.

Extraordinary - I've always found that word to be somewhat of a joke. How can something extra ordinary be more than ordinary? It's like saying something extra boring is interesting. What is it really to live an extraordinary life? By definition, to be normal is to conform - to conform to accepted ideas, ideals, standards, expectations. So what if you choose not to conform? What if you don't agree with common thought, common sense or common knowledge. What if you want something different? What if you don't want something extra-ordinary rather, something less than ordinary - something a little uncertain, a little unpredictable, a little strange, a little more alive?

What if..

What if 'what if' never existed? If we were deprived of the ability to attempt predicting our future, what would we do different? Would we do anything differently or would we still question. Asking questions is a rather humbling exercise. To ask is to admit that you do not know. Although i suppose, in a way, admitting your inadequacies is the first step to overcoming denial. Yet, what comes after confession? So many questions, so little motivation to want to think about them.

"And so it goes, and so it goes
And You're the only one who knows..."
- 'And So It Goes' by Billy Joel

The experience of movement is a profound thing that
is only surpassed by the experience of being moved..

When you get down to it, all each of us really wants is to find that one thing that moves us - that one thing that makes sense of it all and makes it all matter. The need to feel, to connect, to experience and to know is a steady undercurrent that subtly drives all that we do.

These past few days i've been feeling rather charmed by the idea of spending endless hours immersed in alternate realities through dreams at night and daydreams during stolen moments in the day. Strangely i've started noticing that while the validity and reality of these alternate experiences may be questionable, they are becoming increasingly important as a part of my daily life. It's almost as if by taking concious notice of my subconcious, i've opened up the possibility of being a part of this whole other parrallel life.

In time, i'm certain that life will pick up pace again and leave me little time to indulge in such reverie but in the mean time, i shall make the most of it. Good night and do have thoroughly memorable dreams.

Labels: emo, self-reflection, Weird stuff

(L-R: Melissa, Anna & Leigh) The Entity Dance Collective dancers @ the Studio, Newtown.

The best things in life..
are the ones that help you procrastinate doing the worst things in life :)

I had to toss up between washing the toilet or flickr-ing so i went for flickr-ing. Finished up the short set i did for the Entity Dance Collective practice session. It was a really rushed shoot and i went home feeling like i coulda shoulda woulda have done better at it and worrying that once on the larger comp screen, nothing would turn out right but i have to say that all that praying for it to work out must've helped. Ended up quite happy with some of the shots, got to meet some lovely people and learned the value of instinct over intellect in the process.

It's wonderful when you realise that wonderful things can come out of less than perfect circumstances. It makes possibilities seem possible once more... if only we could just believe.

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One a different note. Time for some geekery! These are some really cool links i've come across recently for online flickr related stuff. If you're not on flickr - get with the program! hehe...

Geekery #1:
wallpapr

what: Beta version of cool search tool that lets you enter keywords and search for a random selection of large sized/high resolution images on flickr that are (averagely) computer wallpaper sized. As far as i checked, all the images that the engine shows up are under creative commons licenses so as far as i can tell it doesn't help people rip off copyrighted or protected works - which is great :)
link: wallpapr


Geekery #2:
groupr

what: With the tagline "A bird's eye view of your flickr groups" this tool gives you a new way of browsing flickr through flickr group pools. Just type in your (or someone else's) flickr nickname, hit search, and a page comes up with a random selection of photos from a number of groups that that flickr person belongs to. Simple customisable functions let you choose the number of groups to be included in the search.
link: groupr

Now go ye thereforth and waste time on flickr! :D

*p/s: no, this isn't a paid post and yes, i wish it was.

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More from the Entity Dance Collective rehearsal series:
(hit the thumbnails to get to the larger version and to got to the photostream )

Labels: Australia, conceptual, dancer, geekery, photography, Sydney, theatre

The lovely Leigh from Entity Dance Collective - Click on the pic, full-view is a must!

The slowest minutes and the fastest days
collide and meet in the strangest ways..

At times, it makes sense for the situation to not make sense. Sometimes, i think the best thing one can do is to just sit back and let life just happen. After all, it seems our lives are too coincidental to be coincidences, too random to really be random. Times like these i'm grateful that i believe in God, in divine intervention, in destiny, in hope and that ultimately, regardless of what i decide or do, whatever will be will surely still be.

Que sera sera
Reasoning won't get you very far
Best look life in the eye
and watch it go by
while reveling in a soliloquy
knowing that whatever will be will be..

Labels: dancer, emo, photography, self-reflection, theatre