Me on a rooftop - high up and on the edge, it made me feel alive. Some really old shots taken at the Pekeliling flats. View Large On Black

I smell a storm coming
and i'm not sure what it means..

I once read somewhere that our bodies naturally crave the thing that we need the most at any given time. Some crave for food, some crave attention, some crave for the presence of others. I crave for certain songs.

It's an itch i can't describe but sometimes during the day i'll just really really really need to listen to a certain song. The moment i hear it though, something seems to melt inside. It's my drug and i am satisfied - for that moment, everything feels right.

Today i craved for Dream A Little Dream of Me (Louis Armstrong and Ella Fitzgerald) which i had on replay several times. Then i craved for Somewhere Over the Rainbow (Eva Cassidy). Then it was downhill from there..

Another mellow night wondering why i'm having another mellow night.
Another mellow night just wondering.

Labels: pekeliling flats, photography, self-reflection

Rufus (Fallen Leaves cast 2009) whom i thank for being one of the most quietly open and honest people i've ever met and photographed.View this Large On Black

It's amazing how the simplest statements
can reveal the greatest truth.

And just like that, it becomes clear. You notice things that were staring you in the face. You look back in retrospect and trace the way things all came together. You see the present and understand it as a culmination of the past and future colliding in the moment, at this time.

...then nothingness. Just a clear quiet nothingness. You hold your breath and suddenly you don't need to breathe. Everything seems suspended, numb, but strangely not entirely unpleasant. You can see things now from a distance and in its entirety. It makes sense.

I like those moments. Too bad they don't last very long.

You blink and it's over. By the next breath you could have sworn it was never there to begin with. Then you return to wondering what it would be like if you really could see the big picture. You're back at the begining but it's different somehow. There's a knowing now yet there's still this element of uncertainty - an unpredictability that intrigues us.

That's why we do it. We want to know. We never really do in the end yet sometimes, if we're lucky, we get glimpses of truth triggered by accidently moments of honesty... and to some extent, that's enough.

And that's why we do it - to know it's there.

Labels: fallen leaves, photography, self-reflection

Adelaide Road trip 2009 View Large On Black

Normality is overrated..
then again so is the extraordinary.

Extraordinary - I've always found that word to be somewhat of a joke. How can something extra ordinary be more than ordinary? It's like saying something extra boring is interesting. What is it really to live an extraordinary life? By definition, to be normal is to conform - to conform to accepted ideas, ideals, standards, expectations. So what if you choose not to conform? What if you don't agree with common thought, common sense or common knowledge. What if you want something different? What if you don't want something extra-ordinary rather, something less than ordinary - something a little uncertain, a little unpredictable, a little strange, a little more alive?

What if..

What if 'what if' never existed? If we were deprived of the ability to attempt predicting our future, what would we do different? Would we do anything differently or would we still question. Asking questions is a rather humbling exercise. To ask is to admit that you do not know. Although i suppose, in a way, admitting your inadequacies is the first step to overcoming denial. Yet, what comes after confession? So many questions, so little motivation to want to think about them.

"And so it goes, and so it goes
And You're the only one who knows..."
- 'And So It Goes' by Billy Joel