Click Chick

Born to be Wild

2009-07-19T11:49:00.002+10:00

Born to be Wild - Liven, originally uploaded by Click.Chick.

I am a dancer
No shoes, no dress, no spotlight or stage
No colour, no creed, nor restriction on age

No jury, no training, no cheers, no leeers
I dance as i feel - no limits, no fears

I dance in the grass with the wind in my hair
I dance on the pavement - gray, cold and bare

I dance in the rain and the heat of the sun
I dance when i feel i can no longer run

It's my release, my light and escape
So i dance and i dance till my bare feet break

Then i smile, get up, and dance a while more
For with dance my tomorrows, will be better, i'm sure

A dancer I am and a dancer I'll be
Even if my dancing is only for me...

:)

Another Mellow Night

2009-03-25T23:39:00.007+11:00

Me on a rooftop - high up and on the edge, it made me feel alive. Some really old shots taken at the Pekeliling flats. View Large On Black

I smell a storm coming
and i'm not sure what it means..

I once read somewhere that our bodies naturally crave the thing that we need the most at any given time. Some crave for food, some crave attention, some crave for the presence of others. I crave for certain songs.

It's an itch i can't describe but sometimes during the day i'll just really really really need to listen to a certain song. The moment i hear it though, something seems to melt inside. It's my drug and i am satisfied - for that moment, everything feels right.

Today i craved for Dream A Little Dream of Me (Louis Armstrong and Ella Fitzgerald) which i had on replay several times. Then i craved for Somewhere Over the Rainbow (Eva Cassidy). Then it was downhill from there..

Another mellow night wondering why i'm having another mellow night.
Another mellow night just wondering.

Seeing is believing & other non-conclusive truths

2009-03-19T00:41:00.004+11:00

Rufus (Fallen Leaves cast 2009) whom i thank for being one of the most quietly open and honest people i've ever met and photographed.View this Large On Black

It's amazing how the simplest statements
can reveal the greatest truth.

And just like that, it becomes clear. You notice things that were staring you in the face. You look back in retrospect and trace the way things all came together. You see the present and understand it as a culmination of the past and future colliding in the moment, at this time.

...then nothingness. Just a clear quiet nothingness. You hold your breath and suddenly you don't need to breathe. Everything seems suspended, numb, but strangely not entirely unpleasant. You can see things now from a distance and in its entirety. It makes sense.

I like those moments. Too bad they don't last very long.

You blink and it's over. By the next breath you could have sworn it was never there to begin with. Then you return to wondering what it would be like if you really could see the big picture. You're back at the begining but it's different somehow. There's a knowing now yet there's still this element of uncertainty - an unpredictability that intrigues us.

That's why we do it. We want to know. We never really do in the end yet sometimes, if we're lucky, we get glimpses of truth triggered by accidently moments of honesty... and to some extent, that's enough.

And that's why we do it - to know it's there.

A Life less ordinary

2009-03-18T14:48:00.010+11:00

Adelaide Road trip 2009 View Large On Black

Normality is overrated..
then again so is the extraordinary.

Extraordinary - I've always found that word to be somewhat of a joke. How can something extra ordinary be more than ordinary? It's like saying something extra boring is interesting. What is it really to live an extraordinary life? By definition, to be normal is to conform - to conform to accepted ideas, ideals, standards, expectations. So what if you choose not to conform? What if you don't agree with common thought, common sense or common knowledge. What if you want something different? What if you don't want something extra-ordinary rather, something less than ordinary - something a little uncertain, a little unpredictable, a little strange, a little more alive?

What if..

What if 'what if' never existed? If we were deprived of the ability to attempt predicting our future, what would we do different? Would we do anything differently or would we still question. Asking questions is a rather humbling exercise. To ask is to admit that you do not know. Although i suppose, in a way, admitting your inadequacies is the first step to overcoming denial. Yet, what comes after confession? So many questions, so little motivation to want to think about them.

"And so it goes, and so it goes
And You're the only one who knows..."
- 'And So It Goes' by Billy Joel

Charmed, charmed life.

2009-01-14T05:52:00.003+11:00

The experience of movement is a profound thing that
is only surpassed by the experience of being moved..

When you get down to it, all each of us really wants is to find that one thing that moves us - that one thing that makes sense of it all and makes it all matter. The need to feel, to connect, to experience and to know is a steady undercurrent that subtly drives all that we do.

These past few days i've been feeling rather charmed by the idea of spending endless hours immersed in alternate realities through dreams at night and daydreams during stolen moments in the day. Strangely i've started noticing that while the validity and reality of these alternate experiences may be questionable, they are becoming increasingly important as a part of my daily life. It's almost as if by taking concious notice of my subconcious, i've opened up the possibility of being a part of this whole other parrallel life.

In time, i'm certain that life will pick up pace again and leave me little time to indulge in such reverie but in the mean time, i shall make the most of it. Good night and do have thoroughly memorable dreams.

Just believe.

2008-09-29T01:44:00.007+10:00

(L-R: Melissa, Anna & Leigh) The Entity Dance Collective dancers @ the Studio, Newtown.

The best things in life..
are the ones that help you procrastinate doing the worst things in life :)

I had to toss up between washing the toilet or flickr-ing so i went for flickr-ing. Finished up the short set i did for the Entity Dance Collective practice session. It was a really rushed shoot and i went home feeling like i coulda shoulda woulda have done better at it and worrying that once on the larger comp screen, nothing would turn out right but i have to say that all that praying for it to work out must've helped. Ended up quite happy with some of the shots, got to meet some lovely people and learned the value of instinct over intellect in the process.

It's wonderful when you realise that wonderful things can come out of less than perfect circumstances. It makes possibilities seem possible once more... if only we could just believe.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

One a different note. Time for some geekery! These are some really cool links i've come across recently for online flickr related stuff. If you're not on flickr - get with the program! hehe...

Geekery #1:
wallpapr

what: Beta version of cool search tool that lets you enter keywords and search for a random selection of large sized/high resolution images on flickr that are (averagely) computer wallpaper sized. As far as i checked, all the images that the engine shows up are under creative commons licenses so as far as i can tell it doesn't help people rip off copyrighted or protected works - which is great :)
link: wallpapr

Geekery #2:
groupr

what: With the tagline "A bird's eye view of your flickr groups" this tool gives you a new way of browsing flickr through flickr group pools. Just type in your (or someone else's) flickr nickname, hit search, and a page comes up with a random selection of photos from a number of groups that that flickr person belongs to. Simple customisable functions let you choose the number of groups to be included in the search.
link: groupr

Now go ye thereforth and waste time on flickr! :D

*p/s: no, this isn't a paid post and yes, i wish it was.

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More from the Entity Dance Collective rehearsal series:
(hit the thumbnails to get to the larger version and to got to the photostream )

what ever will be will be.

2008-09-24T02:50:00.008+10:00

The lovely Leigh from Entity Dance Collective - Click on the pic, full-view is a must!

The slowest minutes and the fastest days
collide and meet in the strangest ways..

At times, it makes sense for the situation to not make sense. Sometimes, i think the best thing one can do is to just sit back and let life just happen. After all, it seems our lives are too coincidental to be coincidences, too random to really be random. Times like these i'm grateful that i believe in God, in divine intervention, in destiny, in hope and that ultimately, regardless of what i decide or do, whatever will be will surely still be.

Que sera sera
Reasoning won't get you very far
Best look life in the eye
and watch it go by
while reveling in a soliloquy
knowing that whatever will be will be..

really.

2008-09-21T01:01:00.003+10:00

Entity Dance Collective @ The Studio, Newtown.

I've been thinking that...
I should really stop thinking.

really.

2008-09-11T11:32:00.003+10:00

The CircuSoc (Circus Society) performers from my uni during their practice @ the Physics Lawn. Had a blast shooting em.. (strobist info: 2 strobes at equal power...1/8 i think... one on left, one on right & equal distance from performers). Click here for more from that series.

Been obsessing over photography for the better part of the week since the Circusoc shoot last last monday. Lights are addictive... O_o" On a good note though.. my gel filters swatchbook just arrived today!! FREE... and delivered right to my doorstep *bless those boys at at the local lighting store*. Got a shoot with some contemporary dancers this afternoon at a little church studio in Newtown. Praying for amazing natural light and a great time with them - can't wait!

Looking to be a good day today. The sun's out, i have an orange cake in the oven *mmsss* and at the last minute managed to borrow a set of wireless flash triggers.... *happiness*....i'm such a geek ;p

Oh well, updates later. For now - tra la :D

Scott Kelby's Worldwide Photowalk 2008 [Sydney]

2008-08-27T00:08:00.003+10:00

Group Photo, originally uploaded by Kris Dick. (Can you spot me?? :D)

'Twas a grey and soggy Saturday morning in Sydney but...
we all still turned up for the 'Scott Kelby Worldwide Photowalk 2008'!

On many levels it wasn't what i expected but i'm still really glad i went for it. Got to meet new people, walk overdone routes looking for under-appreciated angles, and overall just spend a quiet morning walking the streets of Sydney before the hustle and bustle of the day began.

Don't know why but all my more recent shots seem to be darker, moodier and more dreamy... experimenting a bit with post-processing techniques. This mood sort of suited the day too i suppose. It was quite surprising how deserted and silent the city was that morning... albeit it was drizzling and pretty early in the day but i still expected the area to be more alive. It was quite surreal to see no one around save for this crazy group of photogs (actually there were 2 groups of photogs out that morning in the same area - our group and another travel photography group O_o") armed with their gear running (or crawling) through the city. You can imagine what that must've looked like *hehehe*.. all these street photogs.. with hardly anyone else to shoot but themselves... very amusing to watch :D

Was browsing through the shots from some of the other groups around the world who participated in this photowalk too... it's amazing to see all these images as it gives you a lovely cross-section of what the 23rd of August, 2008 was like all around the world. Some cities had sunshine, some had rain, some showed laughter, some showed pain... fascinating really to think of all the other stories and lives out there.. each connected to the other yet each also existing in utter oblivion to the next. For a moment there, i wondered what God saw when he looked down on earth on the 23rd of August, 2008... He must've thought we were all crazy, smiled then laughed a little as He watched us scurry about our day in our own different ways.

Anyways, here are some of my shots from that day. You can check out the Sydney group's flickr photo pool here. Also, check out the photos from the various participating cities around the world involved in this event.

Anyone else participated too?? Let me know how your day went!

"Beam Me Up" - i *heart* the rocks for all the lovely old architecture there...

"One Step at a Time" - A fellow photog getting his shot on the Commisioner's Steps @ Circular Quay.

"Arches" - the good thing about crappy weather is the soft filtered natural light that seems to just float mid-air in a state of glorious suspension.

"Bridge over troubled water" - my fave from that day...

"Church Lights" - tra la..

"Urban Bushland" - The urbanite's song: "This is my tree, these are my stones, this is my wilderness. It may be bare and cold and harsh and grey; but it's where i was born, where i belong. This is my city, my freedom, my home."

"Cooks and Candids" - Shot through a glass window.. can you spot me? hehehe...

"Falcon" - A lovely old Falcon parked under the Harbour Bridge.

"At Hickson Steps" - Shane and Lukas from the photo walk shooting macros of the many things growing out the side of this sandstone wall.

"Pier 2/3" - Yet another shot of the interior of Pier 2/3... i really love that place.

"Puddles" - stomping puddles after the rain :) *sploosh* (Thanks Shane for hopping in that puddle so many times just so i could get a good shot! )

"Gimme That!" - Nyahaha... that'll teach you to give your DSLR to me while hanging off a ladder *runs away and hides Shane's camera*

"From the Top.." - Behind the scenes shot of this pic here.

"Spill" - No point crying over split milk...

"Overflow"

Return to Sender

2008-08-13T02:42:00.002+10:00

Walk-by Shootings@Balmain, 2008.

"Return to sender, address unknown,
No such number, no such zone.."
-Elvis Presley

Sometimes what you give isn't what you get.

Reflecting on Life

2008-08-11T02:56:00.004+10:00

Cockatoo Island, 2008.

Just wondering if...
I'll ever see things the same way again.

At times i wonder if our nomadic type of living is really all it's cut out to be - whether 'reality' is just an illusion like reflections in water.. At times, memories seem no more than pretty pictures that exist only in our heads.. impressions not of what is but of what we want things to be. All the same, when we've glimpsed ideals, can we ever be satisfied with anything less?

Just thinking..
that there are a lot of things that i kinda miss..
and feeling a bit sad that all these times and things that i remember may not even have happened the way i think i remember them.

Moments are far too fleeting, far too fragile..

Sometimes..

2008-07-30T01:21:00.008+10:00

Sometimes i miss KL like crazy..
Sometimes i wonder if things really can change - if things will

Sometimes i wonder if i want them to at all
Sometimes i wonder what the world would be like if we loved instead of hated; accepted instead of judged
Sometimes i just want a real 70 sen roti canai
Sometimes i want it at 3am and i want it at a mamak
Sometimes i miss the laid-back attitude summed up efficiently in the suffix "-lah"
Sometimes i wish things were that simple

Sometimes i do miss home and i wonder if it misses me too.

This is the Malaysia i see.
Click Chick supports Malaysian Artistes for Unity - you should too.

Out with the Old, In with the New

2008-07-23T01:11:00.007+10:00

It's time for a clean up, shake down, clear out...
It's time for change, it's time for something new.

It's time i actually got round to doing all the things i said i would do.

Yup. Finally.

Starting with Click Chick v2.0!! Huge thanks to Patricia Low for her lovely camera-angel doodles (*big HUGS*) and BittBox for the Photoshop CS brushes (amazing stuff!).

I'm naming it 'remember the rain' in memory of the many quiet nights spent beside my bedroom window tracing raindrops with my fingers and musing about everything, nothing and all that lies in-between.

Tra la...

Ignorance is bliss

2008-07-18T03:41:00.006+10:00

"Sails", Sydney Biennale 2008@Cockatoo Island, Sydney.

When the illusion of anonymity is shattered
a certain joy of freedom is lost

Maybe ignorance really is bliss and maybe if we really tried hard enough, we may start to believe it.

It's been a while since i last blogged. I think i finally feel like everyone's forgotten enough about this dusty lil blog so that i can blog in blissful anonymity again. It's strange... thinking that people i know actually read this thing makes me feel self-conscious and yet thinking that no one cares enough to read it also makes me feel a lil dejected. Sometimes i wish i'd just make up my mind *blek*

------------------

The great thing about dreams is that they stay in your head. They stay illusions, they stay impossible and they stay just as we intend them to be. The problem with having great ideas is that on the rare occasion that one has to realise them, in the bright glare of reality they sometimes don't seem that great after all... hmm..

-------------------

In an attempt to distract myself from watching too many episodes of 'Will & Grace' in one night, i took to doing some of those "silly internet personality quizzes" clicking randomly on any quiz title that appeared vaguely interesting (or mind-numbing). After finding out what type of chocolate i am (dark chocolate), what type of brain i have (balanced brain ;D) and which 80s song i am (not telling ;p), i clicked on a quiz titled "why are you still single?" - partly for amusement, partly because it was taunting me - and began randomly clicking away at the multiple choice answers.

After half-lucidly clicking on the "finish" button, i sat, watched the little 'loading' bar slowly turn blue and contemplated all the random useless possible "results" that would soon pop up on my screen. Surprisingly, what popped up next kind of made me stop and think a bit...

The answer to my question apparently is that i "don't want to slow down":

"Whether you're working all hours, busy with school, or planning a cross-country move, it sounds like you just don't have time for anyone else in your life...right now, that is. Your timing may be off in other aspects, too. Chances are, you've met that perfect person who just so happens to be married or planning their own cross-country move. So take a step back for a moment. Is there something underlying this? Could it be you're afraid to get involved for some reason or another, and are therefore attracted to people who are simply unavailable?"

Convicted by a computer.. now that's sad ;p

And to think i wondered why i stopped blogging for so long *sigh*

O_o"

2008-06-17T20:32:00.002+10:00

this is some...
some seriously cool time-lapse painting

Popper Box Paintathon from Popper Box on Vimeo.

my bum's getting itchy.. i want to do something random and creative and completely pointless.. i need accomplices.. i need ideas.. i need to just get the move on and do them already ;p

if you're free, equally inclined to the random and are based in Sydney, let me know.

Cravings..

2008-06-13T16:13:00.003+10:00

I woke up this morning and craved Beef & Wine Pies...
so i made some..

*whee* Random cravings lead to random cooking sessions.. half a day of boiling the stew to death, an hour of making pastry, some time tanning in the oven.. then instant satisfaction... *yums*

i think all this sleep and sunshine is doing something even worse to my head than all that staying up at night.. but at least this way i don't have to eat maggie mee *ugh*

now if you'll excuse me, i have some pies to devour *tra la..*

Who needs sleep?

2008-06-08T03:20:00.003+10:00

*blows layer of dust off her poor abandoned blog*

life's been strange lately... i always talk about being nocturnal but it's terrible this time.. i really have been doing life in reverse and it's a tad bit fascinating but mostly disturbing.. kinda like hanging upside down for too long - fun for a bit but seriously messes up[ your head. The days never seem to pass, and everything is suspended in this surreal state of continuum...

just a little bit longer....

Meanwhile.. i found this really amusing.. bathroom sessions by barenakedladies of my anthem of no sleep *hee* check it out..

the simple life

2008-05-09T01:33:00.004+10:00

Walking along Walsh Bay, i came across this friendly guy doing a spot of fishing at the docks..

Sometimes the best solution to a complicated problem..
Is a simple one.

In a much happier mood today. Got to get out of my bat cave for a bit and spend the night with good company and great sticky-date pudding ;D *hee* It's easy to forget sometimes that there's so much more to life than what occurs in our little worlds on a daily basis. Somewhere out there someone's getting born, getting married, getting older, getting to work, getting hurt, getting saved, getting lost... in the grand scheme of things, our little daily worries and troubles now seem forgettable.

Sometimes simple is beautiful and beauty can be simple.

Things still need to get fixed, work needs to get done, problems need to be solved. Yet, if we constantly remind ourselves that wonderful moments can still be found in any situation, perhaps it would make life's mundane and moody moments that much more bearable :)

Following The Leader...

2008-05-06T00:23:00.003+10:00

Following the leader, the leader, the leader,
following the leader where ever he may go..

Sometimes i wonder...
why i even bother at all.

Ever get the feeling that no matter what you do or how good your intentions/aspirations/ideas it all don't matter in the end? No matter what you intend to communicate to someone else it somehow has a way of turning out completely different leaving you exasperated and thinking "what's the point of trying so hard to be nice and likable and good and perfect" when it's perfectly easy to be quite the opposite - almost too easy *blek*...

Another pointless rant about another pointless subject.

Sometimes it feels like i waste too much time living in my head and not enough time actually living O_o"

i need a life.

A work in progress...

2008-04-13T03:32:00.014+10:00

The combination of several non-related random things..
gave me a wonderful little revelation today

*Warning: i'm feeling pensive and corny all at once right now so this might be a rather strange blog post*

Between watching the Nanny Diaries, reading up on some architecture research and surfing the web, i came across three little random thoughts today that made me smile..

The first was when i watched the Nanny Diaries while munching on my brekkie cupcake. One of the scenes at the start of the film is of Scarlett Johannes's character being interviewed for a job. The interviewer asks her to describe who she is and she completely blanks out. It made me think a bit about what i would do and say if i were in her place (which may be sometime in the near future if i survive final year :p)... who is grace, really? what is grace? how would i describe her to an alien life-form if i had to describe her to an alien life-form?

Later in the day, while pouring through an architecture journal, i came across this statement made by Japanese architect Toyo Ito: "True creation is when you can't tell what's ahead, you can't see until you get there." Second interesting thought - sometimes we don't have to know where we're headed to know how to get there. Brilliant... an excuse for me to be mildly blur and quite clueless about just about everything :D

Out of curiosity i started surfing the net to find out more about Toyo Ito and i eventually clicked on the link to his main website. What popped up made me smile and suddenly, it all made complete sense in my funny little head.

The opening screen of that website said "Toyo Ito - Work In Progress" it was probably meant in reference to the website not being completed but i chose to take it at face value just because that simple statement is so wonderfully poignant and beautiful - "Toyo Ito: Work in progress" - love it!!

It was then that i realised that regardless of looming insecurities and uncertainties, there was a saving grace (yes, pun intended..). It didn't matter if i hadn't got it all figured out yet because i'm still a work in progress - always have been, always will be. Perfection is not an end result, rather it's a process of progress... something to be worked at and to strife for.

Nobody's perfect and frankly, i'd rather be Somebody
(heheh... sorry, couldn't help myself...awfully pun-ny today.. get it? get it? fun-ny... pun-ny.. *hee* ;p)

Signing off tonight,
-grace, a work in progress

No more emo

2008-04-03T01:19:00.005+11:00

On strict orders from Rachel
i am no longer allowed to blog emo posts..

heheh.. (*hi rachel*)

So today's post will be sunny and happy and quite content. It will have blue skies and sun hats and an evil little delicious fried treat. It will be posted at the end of a lovely lazy day in remembrance of a lovely lazy day. If only everyday could be sunny and spent doing nothing at the beach :)

So here goes:

Grace's checklist for a wonderfully lazy day at the beach :D

Mix all ingredients well, add a dusting of icing sugar on top.. and follow with a big serve of maple pecan ice cream on the side.

perfection...

i love my sunny days :)

Earth Hour 2008

2008-03-29T23:41:00.001+11:00

Looking for Light

2008-03-26T02:58:00.002+11:00

Easter morning sunrise @ The Opera House

How can i change the world..
if i can't even change myself?

Why do i long for something that i haven't known before?
Why do i have memories of things not yet come to past?
..and if all my questions were answered, would i be satisfied at last?

"These things—the beauty, the memory of our own past—are good images of what we really desire; but if they are mistaken for the thing itself they turn into dumb idols, breaking the hearts of their worshipers. For they are not the thing itself; they are only the scent of a flower we have not found, the echo of a tune we have not heard, news from a country we have never yet visited."

- C. S. Lewis, 'The Weight of Glory'

Mirrors in the Mirror

2008-03-23T01:15:00.004+11:00

Spiegel Im Spiegel (Mirrors in the Mirror)

It's late now..
and as soft grey clouds blanket the sky
a little girl lays her head down to rest
and dreams

of castles and princes and smiling faces
and so she sleeps
she waits
she dreams

her thoughts on endless tomorrows
and mirrors in mirrors
wondering what they may bring..

Edo + Tyas

2008-03-17T02:43:00.004+11:00

Edo & Tyas - 15th March 2008

'Twas a bright sun-shiny Saturday
for two bright sun-shiny people..

Had a pre-wedding shoot with Edo & Tyas on Sat and had a blast. These two are such an adorable couple!

Will blog more later.. need sleep now.... ;)

*whee...*

Change?

2008-03-09T00:10:00.006+11:00

na, hui wen, pri, me and zahra's chin ;) CNY 2008

This time tomorrow,
the Malaysia i know might be a very different place..

As i write, the votes are being counted for what will surely be one of the most significant elections in Malaysia's history - and tomorrow, Malaysia will have changed. Sure, stalls will still open, cars will still be jamming up the roads and people will still be waking up to offer morning prayers but the one thing different would be the focus of their prayers for a brief moment in their mornings..

Some will pray in thanksgiving..
some in dismay..
some in disbelief..
some in fear..
some in hope..

..but most will pray with Malaysia on their mind.

The one thing i seemed to keep hearing from everyone during my CNY hols back home was "It's got to get worse for it to get better." Not quite sure i agree with that statement but i do agree that it would take something radical to shake up our country - maybe this is it.

Then again, maybe not. We'll see.

I'm not much one for politics and quite honestly, i'm not the most patriotic person in the world, but i'll still drift off tonight wondering what tomorrow's light will reveal.

Whichever way the elections swing, tonight i pray for one thing only - the future, safety and peace of my home, Malaysia.

i love you, Malaysia - you know i do.

If you change, change for the better,
If you remain, retain only what is good,
If you must be radical, do so for the right reasons and in the right way;
and if you must move on, don't move so far that i can't find you the next time i look for home.

Sleep tight. It'll be a long day tomorrow.

Hillsong Colour Conference 2008

2008-03-07T01:08:00.004+11:00

Being in the company of a stadium full of women..
is a wonderfully strange experience..

Went for my first Colour Conference today which is Hillsong church's anual women's conference. Wasn't quite sure what to expect from it but have to admit that i was quite excited to go :)

Opening night was a ton of fun and there was this moment during worship where Brooke Fraser was leading and the band stopped playing for the chorus bit... standing there right in the middle of this huge stadium, with nothing but Brooke's voice and the collective voice of thousands and thousands of women praising God was quite breathtaking. I've been in mixed crowds singing at worship and concerts before but nothing - nothing - was quite like being in a crowd of WOMEN (and girls) all singing in one voice before. There was something so amazingly pure, comforting and strong about it...

Carol turned to me and whispered "Wow, looking at this i think women can really take over the world if they wanted to..".

..and for that moment, it was possible :)

Got some piccas here that i snapped on my Sony Ericsson K800i handphone camera.. not the best thing to shoot with but i was lazy to bring my big cam ;p

Opening night '08 begins..

every..single...level in the acer arena was packed solid..

Brooke leading worship..

CNY 2008

2008-02-24T21:36:00.006+11:00

Uncle Henry & his family @ CNY dinner '08

I'm still here..
just taking some time to live life before blogging about it :)

Been neglecting my blog for a bit while i'm back in KL.. realising that it really is impossible to spend as much time as i'd like with everyone back home during my few short weeks back. To everyone i didn't manage to meet up with:

i'm really *Sorry*

It's strange how much and yet how little things have changed in the past year. It's been a holiday filled with family, good food, old friends and lots of running around. Maybe a tad too much running around.. now that it's my last week back home, i'm filled witha deep urge to just sit on my couch in front of my tv, with my dog in my home and just enjoy being at home.

This year's going to fly by the moment i touch down in Sydney. It's starting with a great deal of excitement, apprehension and uncertainty. It will end with big decisions, inevitable transitions and much change.

I wonder what it will bring.

I wonder if i really want to find out..

The Sun, the Wind, the Rain

2008-02-02T00:54:00.000+11:00

One of those (surprisingly) rare sunny summer days - shot on Fuji Reala 100.

It started to rain again today..

..and as i looked up at the grey sky, i remembered that warm summer day, under the tree, when the light was just right and the wind was just right and the tree, the light and the wind tossed dancing shadows across the table top. Nothing was said. Nothing needed to be said.

Sometimes the less we talk, the more we understand.

So i sit and wonder about what the world is doing on this quiet night.

Then i sleep and dream and in the morning, it would all have faded away..

2008-01-24T01:55:00.000+11:00

My narcissistic moment - basking (literally) in the Sydney sunlight.

I've always loved..
Open doorways and all the possibilities they bring.

The golden light of sunset, the slightest breeze, old weathered doorways with glass panels that catch the soft rays...

Maybe the long grey weekend was worth it after all.

*tra la..*

the girl in the window

2008-01-20T03:13:00.000+11:00

Self-portrait - Who is that girl in the window...

Looking out a window always
helps me find my frame of mind..

"What is time?
Is it the autumn leaves that change?
Or the snow that floats from the sky

What is Time?
Is it the air we breathe?
Or the wings that teach
The new born bird to fly

Who can tell?
I don’t know
Will we change?
Will we grow?

What is time?
Is it eternity
In heaven
Or just a hope for peace on earth

Where’s the time
Gone in a blink of an eye
But with every blink
a birth

We live
We learn
We love
In time
We give
We yearn
We grow

In time

Time for change
Its time to care
It’s not too late
Don’t despair
Reach inside your heart

To find the joy and love
To share with all mankind
For all we know

All we have.. is time"

- 'Time' by Billy Porter

Hiding inside my BOX.

2008-01-16T02:18:00.000+11:00

The BOX - Pen sketch + Photoshop rendering (for my recent summer course)

I complain a lot about having to do hand drawings..
but truth is.. i secretly like it.

It scares me like crap when i think about having to draw stuff manually.. it just seems so foreign to me which is strange seeing as i've been doing this for a few years now... some people find sky diving and bungee jumping scary... sit me down in front of a blank sheet of paper with a pen, a ruler and a 2-day deadline and i pretty much get the same feeling.

Call me weird but i still don't feel comfortable with people looking at something i've made or drawn by hand.. i'm fine with showing photos and computer graphics and other more 'processed' stuff like that but something hand-made and hand drawn.. just seems so... personal.. so blatantly human.. and raw.

I don't post my work up much here. Only the ones that scared me upon starting them and made me happy that i did attempt them once it's all finally over.

I suppose it's true that the things in life that scare you the most are often the most worthwhile - and they don't even have to be big things.. just little ones faced everyday, one little freaky feat at a time.

NYE 08 Fireworks

2008-01-11T01:18:00.000+11:00

New Year's Eve fireworks at Circular Quay, Sydney. 'Twas a wonderful night to be young, alive and sitting up there watching fireworks paint the sky..

What is it about fireworks that thrills us so much?
Why do we long for it, look for it, live for that one short moment of amazing wonder and happiness... why?

It occurred to me tonight that our lives are much like a fireworks show. We are amazed and inspired by the times when colourful fireworks light up our lives - times when we feel alive, excited, in awe and amused. And when the fireworks pause briefly in between rounds, the darkness and the quiet is amplified by its absence - yet it is a good darkness and quiet; one that is appreciated as a necessary experience in contrast to all that excitement.

As long as this alternation of highs and lows is in motion, we can engage in life - in the now.

But what happens when the show is over? That long wait in between the last show and the next? We wait and we search, passing the time running around in circles until the next thrill comes our way. Somewhere in the midst of all that running, we're so busy looking down at the ground that we miss the show happening around us altogether.

What are we waiting for? That next show? That next job, relationship, adventure, success, house, car, holiday? That next show isn't 'coming soon', it's already happening right now. We just have to stop running, look up and see that there's a whole lot more to life than we thought there was.

Live now. Love now. Life's too short to miss the fireworks.

Ever Ever After

2007-12-31T00:00:00.000+11:00

Leanne + Nat, Sydney 2007 - Here's to your happily ever after. Thanks for sharing a bit of your fairytale with me :)

"Storybook endings, fairy tales coming true,
Deep down inside we want to believe they still do,
And a secret is taught, it's our favorite part of the story
Let's just admit we all want to make it true.."
- Ever Ever After by Carrie Underwood (from the Enchanted OST)

I just saw Enchanted the movie and i have to admit that i've been reminded once again how absolutely besotted i am by the idea of fairytales. After all these years, Disney has finally redeemed itself and proved that Disney magic still exists... seriously, call me a fluff-ball but i left the theater with a deep urge to waltz, twirl and spontaneously break into song.

Maybe i was brainwashed as a child, maybe i'm idealistic, maybe i'm just plain naive but i still believe in ever ever after..

..and so, on this warm and lonely night before the night before the new year, i sit by my window, hum a little tune, look out at the world in blind hope and wonder; and wish upon a star that my prince charming is somewhere out there wishing on a star for me too..

*cue: camera pan out into a wide angle shot of a glittery star-speckled sky; cue: fairy dust; fade to black*

-the end-

P/s: Prince Charming, if you're somewhere out there reading this - yes, i want the tiara, the dress, the stardust, the waltzing and the pony too ;) - tra la..

Virtual Vandalism

2007-12-14T00:21:00.000+11:00

Little hearts on the streets of Kiama, Australia.

i heart you..
i don't want to but i do..

Blogs are kinda like street art. You can say want you want to and need to say in the most public way and still stay discreet. It's that outlet for all the pent up things you want to say. It listens, it understands, it willingly accepts all the linguistic regurgitation you throw its way.

Sometimes i reckon my blog knows me better than most people do. I tell it when i'm sad, when i'm happy and when i'm drifting somewhere in between. I tell it when i need a break, when i feel broken and when i finally break free... and all the while, still maintaining the ambiguity of the truth.

Forget camwhoring, cryptic blogging is the way to go. It's easier than etching a statement into the back of a toilet door and more sanitary too. When you think about it, blogs are rather like virtual vandalism victims. We carve into them our random thoughts, musings, opinions, feelings, aspirations, confessions, confusion, perversions, fears, anger, belief - anything that tells the world that "Hey, guess what? Grace was here - she has something to say and she wants you to know that."

It's simple really. On some level, all we want is someone to hear what we have to say..
and with virtual vandalism, we don't actually have to say it to say it.

One Giant Leap

2007-12-06T03:21:00.000+11:00

Werns, Dina, Jerms & Dale - Kiama, Australia

One giant leap towards the unknown
and i'm not sure what i'll see at the top...

These days it seems like every time i smile outside, i sigh inside.

Transitions

2007-12-04T17:38:00.000+11:00

Transitions - The Australian War Memorial, Canberra, Australia.

Each season in life comes and goes like the light of day..
giving us a changing perspective of constant things..

I hate goodbyes.
I hate transition periods.

They always leave me in this rather contemplative mood. A state of mind that straddles between acceptance of the fact that change is inevitable and in denial of the fact that things have to change. I suppose everyone moves on eventually. People meet and have good times together then move on and have good memories together.

It seems like each time i've finally figured out how things are working in my life, circumstances change to throw me back into having to start over again.

I'm sitting here with my sketch pad drawing a corner in my room. Even as i draw i can see the shadows shifting, the colours transforming, the intensity of the light rising and falling in rhythm with the passing clouds. As i watch this day pass it seems at once familiar and strange.

So i sit
i watch
i revel in the moment

then i let it go.

Tomorrow there will be a new sunrise, a new sunset, a new passing day. It will be with me for but a moment then pass me by..

and so life goes on..

burn.

2007-11-20T03:42:00.000+11:00

From my window, i watch the world go by
i watch as they laugh, as they burn, as they cry - the fire @ Kingsford, 16th Nov '07

burn.

to live
to lie
to need
to try

to stop
to breathe
to wait
to leave

to feel
to learn
to steal
to burn

to run
away
to push
to stray

to hurt
to hide
to keep
inside

the real
the truth
the girl
the me.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Just because you can't see it, it doesn't mean that it isn't there..

Postcard Pretty

2007-11-03T18:43:00.000+11:00

The Afternoon After - the design studio arvo aftermath...

I love brown paper packages all tied up in string.. and the excitement upon opening to see what they bring!

In a good mood today as you can tell. Semester's not over yet but at least hell week is. Ooh.. and my parcel arrived! I got me a brand new Ricoh Caplio R6 digital camera that i won in a photo contest *whee*.. it's nice and silver and shiny and small enough to fit in a purse or pocket. Haven't decided whether i want to keep it as a spare pocket cam or sell it. Whoo-hoo first real photo comp. i've won *happy dance*

Reviews bout the little Caplio seem pretty good. If anyone's interested in buying it from me, drop me an email ;) ...for now, it's still sitting pretty in its little box, smiling eagerly at me.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Speaking of competitions.. one of my blog readers (ooh i've been dying to say that..) dropped me an email about this kwel competition open to ALL MALAYSIANS. Yeap, it's that easy, if you're Malaysian and you have creative ideas, you can join it. Details as follows:

What: Postcards Competition

by Who: Apostrophe - a m'sian-based creative organisation aimed at encouraging all things creative back home in good ol' tanah melayu.

How: just draw, snap, cut, stick, paint or click up something creative based on the theme of "1:30pm" then send it in to them via email or MMS (for digi users). Go check their website for details.

Why should i join: Winners get an all-expense paid trip to Bangkok and a Sony Ericsson hp.. *woo-hoo*

When: It's on now but closing date's coming up soon on the 16th of Nov, 2007.

Oh yeah, you can enter as many time as you want too (i love that.. it's so hard to pick your faves to submit). Entries can be individual (single) submissions or sets of up to 5 images under the same title. get working people! There can never be too many arts initiatives back home.. and whenever one comes round i get pretty psyched.

Anyways, i'm bookmarking apostrophe - i like.

Face Value

2007-11-02T02:31:00.000+11:00

There is nothing that reveals a person's real personality and maturity more than
spending an intense, stressed and sleep deprived 2 days with them in studio...

There is a strange thing that happens when you chuck a bunch of stressed out, sleepy people in a studio together, lock the door and throw away the keys.

Sometimes, it's absolute magic and people who seem generally subtle and subdued pleasantly surprise you by stepping up to the plate and holding their own under pressure. Other times, one gets to witness the rather spectacular transmutation of a perfectly capable human being into something quite the opposite.

While i much prefer working with people who can up their game when it matters the most, there is also something important that can be learned from working with the later - perhaps something more relevant to both you and the other person as well. After all, part of the learning process in uni is about trying things out in order to discover your strengths and weaknesses as a person - and there is no better way to reveal them than through high-pressure situations like these.

Being under such focussed pressure draws out the most primal instincts in a person. It is during that time that one stops over-thinking or trying to logically analyse things and starts acting instinctively. Some instinctively rise up to the challenge and some don't - it's a simple test of character that still surprises me every time.

Me and design studio - it's a love-hate relationship.

It's my 8th time doing this now..
and yet there is always something new to learn.

OK, right...

2007-10-18T02:10:00.001+10:00

Sydney street stories.
"...and time moves on like a train, that disappears into the night sky." - This Old Love' by Lior

'Tis a tad bit sad when..
you have to read you friend's blog to find out what's really going on in their heads.

While mindlessly procrastinating doing work, i decided to blog hop my friends' blogs on my link list. Admittedly i don't blog read everyday as i'd like to think that ACTUAL human contact says much more than reading something online... i was wronggg...

It seems that for some unexplainable strange reason, people tend to be more open and vulnerable (albeit a tad ambiguous sometimes) in a public blog or facebook/friendster/myspace/(insert online friend network name here) post than they are in person.

There's an odd sense of relief in admitting your true feelings and thoughts for all the world to see. Somehow, doing that via some text/pictures/html code gibberish posted online makes it easier... distant... safer...

We trade letters for emails, calls for instant messages, hugs for digital "pokes" (what's a facebook poke anyways?? O_o"), real smiles for emoticon ones... and yet intentions are true and we are probably more likely to express those intentions now that an alternative (and less scary) medium exists..

We are a strange people.

Very strange indeed.

Broken Doors and Open Doors

2007-10-08T01:11:00.000+10:00

Taken at Pekeliling Flats, KL.

Sometimes we bust down doors
only to realise that we needed them there after all...

Life's strange that way. We spend so much time trying to get to the other side of that door and when we get through it, it's not quite what we expected.

Life's strange that way.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

It's quiet out; and
i hear my thoughts; they
ripple through silences; that
mark miles of space; still
flitting in spasm; on
my window pane; are
wandering musings; of
passion and pain.

It's so crisp and quiet out tonight that i felt somehow obliged to take a short break from doing work to stick my head out of the window and think. From my window i watch the lights in nearby shops and apartments go out - one by one. The shadows move, live, breathe - then they are no more. As i watch the world go by, watch these ppl live their lives, i wonder what they're thinking, what they're feeling, who they are, whether they're looking out their window wondering the same thing. My thought run to random ppl across the globe and i imagine a young African boy waking up in a dessert land, looking out the window squinting at the bright morning sun, getting ready for a long day helping his father mind the animals - to an old woman in China sitting in a rocking chair staring out of her weathered wood windows, listening to old chinese records with the hum and click of a standing fan in the background - to a young Greek fisherman returning home from a bout out at sea, looking out the porthole in his boat thinking about his beautiful bride-to-be waiting eagerly for his return..

The list goes on and i imagine all these people, sharing this one moment with me - a moment of looking out a window and just thinking, just wondering if any one out there is thinking of us too.

And as i look out my window into the clear dark Sydney sky, the enormity of everything around reminds me how big a difference a little perspective makes on the way we see things. Things always look different when we finally see the bigger picture.

Blue Moon

2007-09-29T23:26:00.001+10:00

Taken at Lake George (yes, it's a "lake" go spot the water) on the way to Canberra... The moon wonderfully bright that day :)

I've barely done anything productive this week..
and now i'm feeling very guilty about it.

It's absolutely astonishing how i can come up with a million ways to do nothing. In fact doing nothing is actually quite an engaging activity. It's the end of spring break hols and i'm still in a bit of a daze.. brain's not working and i'm finding it very hard to get into work mode again *sigh* very bad considering how i have 3 submissions this week

*argh*

*die die die*

That Random Duck...

2007-09-27T19:00:00.000+10:00

Spring break's fun..
I actually get to sleep some nights :D

hehe this is so cute.. Ray introduced me to this website called 'What The Duck?' and it's so farny!! Seriously, if you're even remotely into photography (or if you've ever chimped off someone elses camera) it'll tickle you to bits..

The duckie is so cute :D nyaha i like the tagline on their t-shirts too:
"Photographers make it last longer"

nyahahaha... sorry lame-O random post.. i just love the duck *hee*

red or blue?

2007-09-24T04:50:00.000+10:00

Red or blue
it's still the same
still your ball
still your game

Worn out brushes
washed up scene
limp and useless
painted dream..

--------------------------------------------------

Some things catch you by surprise and slap you in the head - leave you winded, knocked up inside and a lil queasy... and yet, i'd rather know them now then go on living inside a bubble, go on guessing or go on hoping.

Either way, it still feels like crap...

...and you have no idea.

Directed towards You.

2007-09-18T02:16:00.000+10:00

'My frame of mind' - Shot on Ilford HP5

Why?

When up is down and down is up
Out is in and in is out
What's found is lost and lost i find
No rest, no resolve,
no piece of mind..

Just Enough.

2007-09-14T00:53:00.000+10:00

'Performing Geometry'.. a random class exercise last semester.. I really can't remember which way was up and which which way was down.. twas 15 minutes of flipping, stacking and entangling loads of tables *phew* - fun tho.. beats sleeping in afternoon lectures...

It's been a Goldilocks day today..
everything was just nice enough..

Twas' productive enough

leisurely enough

healthy enough

sinfully yummy enough

weird enough

normal enough

sunny enough...

Just right.

Nothing spectacular.. just your regular staple nice day.
The kind you can never get enough of ;D

Of Garages and Guy Stuffs

2007-09-13T01:35:00.000+10:00

Roadtrippin' - spring break countdown begins!! (Shot on Ilford XP5)

I'm in a strange mood today..
Then again, feeling strange ain't that strange anymore..

In between researching for a report and trying to actually do the report, i decided to happily (and successfully) distract myself by surfing online for birthday present ideas for a guy friend of mine.

The age old question of "what do you get a guy as a present??" is one that rarely finds its resolve unless i'm somehow magically saved by another person with some semblance of a bright idea (and they're all bright ideas in comparison to my 'no ideas'.. heh).

Me : So.. what should we get him for his bday??
Tim : Dunno.. what would you like? You like kinda boy-ish stuffs..
Me : *blek*

Hmmm.. worth giving that thought a go.. okay, so if i were a guy, what would i like? I reckon i would like gadgets, tools, shiny stuffs, shiny cars, big tough manly stuffs and a huge garage to keep all of em in... Yeap, think i would be a gadget freak kinda guy, possibly automobile obsessed too... either way, i want a big big garage - always have, always will..

Speaking of shiny boy toys (not toy boys), i came across this website that's got yummy storage solutions for garages and stuff. Was researching storage units for a project i'm working on at the mo and got distracted by the shiny shiny gadgets and storage units they have at that website. Ooh i really like the sexy red set they have there.. hehe been having a sorta "red" phase these days.. *sigh* everything in the photos on that site look so neat and perfectly polished!! Grrr...... they've got all sorts of gadgets and storage bits to satisfy my inner-OCD... finally, a place to store everything... :D

Now all i have to do is find a place to store the storage units *sobs*.. My room is in a complete state of disarray now.. Suitably post-project-design-studen-ish with random pieces of stuffs sticking out everywhere... grrr really do wish i had a garage to chuck it all in. Heh.. then i can just close the door and make everything magically disappear *poof* ... maybe then i'd have a place to actually STAND in my room... *blek*

This post is sponsored by Carguygarage...

Coffee & Cameras

2007-09-08T04:11:00.000+10:00

Campos Coffee - nyam nyam....

Coffee and cameras and cloudy Sydney skies
make for an unlikely, yet rather interesting day out shooting..

It's been a long long long past few weeks..some ups, some downs. A lot of strange emotions and stranger days. Ironically, as legions of clouds tide over the clear skies for Spring showers, i feel as if my own little grey cloud is finally starting to float away...

Had one of those lovely lazy days today. Went out with Nat & Leanne to shoot some couple portraits and had the chance to witness how bi-polar weather around here can get. It went from sunshine to rain to clouds to rain to sunshine to rain and clouds again, ending in one of the most vivid and complete rainbows i've seen in a very long time. It meant something to me that rainbow.. reminded me that the gloomiest storms can lead to the most beautiful rainbows - reminded me that with God, we're never completely alone.

Learned a few things about shooting too today as i marched the patient couple across jelly-fish infested beaches, slimy green moss, muddy park lands and funky graffiti tunnels (*thanks for being so sporting guys, hope you had fun ;D ). Been researching and experimenting a bit with lomo-style and cross-processing photo editing as the lovely couple likes bright punchy stuffs.. *heh* been having fun going colour crazy with the photos.. i've been shooting black and white so much recently that i had forgotten how much fun you can have in techni-colour.

Twas so nice to get out of uni and out of my suburb for a bit.. it was so nice to not have uni work to rush for a day *sigh* i miss having a life..

The 'In Betweens'

2007-08-29T00:31:00.000+10:00

Ghosts@Queenscliff, Melbourne.. (yes Albert, i finally dug out my IR filter hehe didn't have a tripod tho...)

We spend a fairly large amount of time in the in betweens..

In between destinations, in between thoughts, in between relationships, life situations, decisions, this life and the next... it's all highly unsettling. At times it feels as if we are merely shadows floating in a dream.

Time passes
Faces change
Landscapes evolve

and still time goes on..
and still we exist..
and still we live and die and live again..

..like a clock that keeps ticking with no hour hand or minute hand.. just the seconds that keep ticking away. No up no down, no past no future.. just time - just moving time.

And so we go on. We wake and sleep and eat and work and live just waiting for that inevitable day of demise before we greet our Maker. I dream of the day when i will have all the mysteries of the world explained to me. The day when everything will finally make sense. But will we ever truly know all it is that we seek? And even if we know, will be satisfied?

Time is a rather cruel concept.. it flees when you need it and lingers when you don't.. maybe time isn't as constant as we think..

I'm rambling.. procrastinating again as you can tell.. Hokay.. back to work now.

Hope you caught the lunar eclipse tonight.. the moon was a lovely murky red-brown colour.

Wondering & Waiting

2007-08-24T01:05:00.000+10:00

There are times when i feel amazingly lost & alone..

uprooted

displaced

frustrated

confused

just wondering and waiting for that which constantly eludes me..

I think the grey skies are getting to my head.. too many cold, rainy days on this island make me miss the warm hugs of home.

Just wallowing in a big bout of emo-ness at the moment.. i should sleep it off.. *blek*

----------------------------------------------------------------

"Thought you had
all the answers
to rest your heart upon
But something happens,
don't see it coming, now
you can't stop yourself.
Now you're out there swimming
In the deep.

Life keeps tumbling your heart in circles
till you... Let go.
Till you shed your pride, and you climb to heaven,
and you throw yourself off.
Now you're out there spinning
In the deep.

And now you're out there spinning..
In the deep.

In the silence,
all your secrets, will
raise their worried heads.
Well, you can pin yourself back together,
to who you thought you were.
Now you're out there livin'
In the deep.

Now you're out there spinning..
swimming..
In the deep.."

- In the Deep, Bird York

Click this (http://youtube.com/watch?v=U_FRluQgYpI) to hear the song.. shtoopid blogspot won't let me upload vids today..

Tales of The Fudge Fairy & The Fiesty Fudge

2007-08-17T04:39:00.000+10:00

I just did the most random thing...

It was 2am and i couldn't sleep and i couldn't do work.... so i decided to make fudge :D
Sticky, sweet, utterly unhealthy fudge. Don't know why but i just felt like making it and it seemed like a good idea at the time.

So i did.

If you've ever made fudge you'll know that it's a fierce little candy when it's cooking.. it bubbles ferociously and threatens to erupt out of the pot even though the actual liquid itself is less that 1/4 the height of the pot. The more it boils down the more feisty it seems to get (and the higher up the pot sides it seems to climb). It fills the house with this amazingly yummy smell of butter and milk and syrup all cooking happily together.. It has a wonderfully vibrant "bubbly" sound too.. *nice* Quite the sensory experience this whole 'making fudge' thing..

Me feels like a Fudge Fairy bestowing fudge upon those who need a bit of sugar (okay, a LOT) to brighten their day :D

Now if only it will harden properly and not keep crumbling to pieces *sobs*

The thought of a warm pan of buttermilk (it smells and tastes like butter and milk therefore the it must be buttermilk.. right??) and chocolate layered fudge on the counter top kinda makes me all warm and fuzzy inside :D

I think i can sleep now...

Ugh.

2007-08-10T23:19:00.001+10:00

What's better than camwhoring with a film camera? Camwhoring with a fish-eye lens on a film camera...

There's nothing worse than having something to say..
and not being able to say it.

I need to claw something right now...

Life... in progress

2007-08-10T00:33:00.000+10:00

"We are all, in a sense, in a constant state of 'becoming' rather than 'being'. "
- Harry Stephens

I was in my Theory of Form class today and of all the things that Harry said, this statement struck me the most. Life in a state of flux is, ironically, life at a constant.

The idea that our 'being' (as in 'existing') is inextricably linked to our 'becoming' (constant state of change) is amazingly fascinating... with that in mind, people then are not so much finished works of art as they are works in progress.. completely incomplete if you will.

I've been quite into this idea recently.. quietly watching life unfold.

One of my favourite times of day is walking down the main walkway in uni when the sun is setting. Watching the sky sink from a brilliant blue to a golden haze, i can't help but wonder why it is that people only want to see the end product.. if only we appreciated the beauty of the works in progress, we would see the whole sunset not just the dark night sky...

In The Deep

2007-08-05T00:43:00.000+10:00

I'm in the mood for random musings tonight.

In the mood for talking to myself in the quite spaces in my head. In the kind of mood that's warily accompanied by a mellow thumping feeling that resides in the deep crevices of one's heart. The kind that evokes long sighs for reasons beyond one's understanding.

Maybe it was triggered by the ethereal lushness and driving pulse of Steve Reich's Tehillim which we went to see performed today. Maybe it was the fried chicken. Maybe it was spending the day home alone or watching people cuddle on the streets to keep warm or spending too much time undulating between sleep and wake or the funky cold weather or a myriad of other random things. Regardless, it's insisting on being unleashed in some form and a blog update somehow seemed to make sense (?)...

Life in Sydney has been a different kind of same since i've come back. Kick starting a new sem seems a lot harder this time around and mulling about in dream time has seemed like a far better option than trudging around in the light of day.

Too many thoughts and emotions floating around inside while everything else feels like sinking. It is a wonder that the human heart can feel two completely opposite things at once. There is a part that stretches to break the tide and reach into the warm dry light of the sun and yet another that longs to give in to the soothing murky blue embrace of the waters.

Suspended somewhere in between, you find yourself - detached from place and time - watching the silent world pass by - a part of yet apart from. And it is then that you know that all we see is but a dream. A temporal imagining of life as we want to see it.

In a sense, at any given moment, everyone leads the same life at the same time in the same way. And yet, we all come away with our own individual versions of a perception of the truth - truth that is translated into memories that willingly alter their form with the rise and fall of the tides of time.

The fragile mist of our existence in this Earthly life fills me with a longing to understand that which is beyond all this. It fills me with an unending curiosity of what is to come. What is beyond the temporal. Each time an unanswered question passes me by, that deep thumping inside grows heavier and longer as once again the limitations of my own comprehension confronts me and reminds me that i am only human.

front . back . front

2007-07-29T12:33:00.000+10:00

All things go round and round and round again
The front is back the back is front
the down is up the up is down

Lavender Haze

2007-07-13T19:13:00.001+10:00

Dawn breaks..
the soft light tastes like early mist lined with soothing lavender
as it tides over my mind in dreamy waves
rising and falling with each long breath..

Deep Blue Sea

2007-07-10T03:26:00.000+10:00

There a strange sense of altered reality
when you spend too much time watching tv and movies...

Everything else seems heightened, dramatic, surreal and displaced. You're not entirely certain if what you feel and think is entirely your own or whether it may be just another product of your overactive imagination, fed largely by illusion.

'Tis a strange feeling.. like floating into a deep blue sea. It's all at once calming and frightening, real and unreal, comforting and strange, exciting and saddening.. and you feel alive and dead all at once.

'Tis a strange feeling.

'tis not strange in an appealing way...

Fallen Leaves@Dram Projects Studio

2007-06-27T03:00:00.000+10:00

"Fallen Leaves is a dreamscape where lives and stories swept to the fringes
are collected gently as one. Their sounds chime with the stories of lives lived less ordinary."

Fallen Leaves was first staged@Actor's Studio Bangsar and i had the pleasure of shooting their first performance as well as shooting their recent pratice session for the re-staging of this wonderfully honest and moving piece.

Initiated by Cloudbreak Creative Developement Centre (run by my aunt Jade and Brian Jones), this project consists of 4 real-life stories written as short plays and told by HIV/Aids patients who themselves have experienced first hand many of the emotions and conflicts brought up in the layered themes of the pieces. If the first staging was anything to go by, audience members can expect a very human story told on a very human level - one that will ensure that you leave the theatre space questioning your own prejudices, preconceptions and understanding regarding this topic of drugs, aids and HIV. Forget holier-than-thou service messages, this is the real thing.

All proceeds from these performances will support ongoing Art Therapy Projects at Welcome Community Home.

As it is a mobile performance experience (yeap, this means the actors and the audience move among each other during the play..it's kinda cool, trust me ;) ) it is limited to only 50 participants per show. You can get your tickets at the following venues:

Food Foundry: Block B Happy Mansion Jalan 17/13 PJ - Siew Ling @ 012 330 5805
Cloudbreak Studio: P2-2 Plaza Damas Jalan Sri Hartamas 1 KL - Jade @ 012 330 2600

Time/Date:
29 June 07, Fri / 8pm
30 June 07, Sat / 3pm, 8pm
1 July 07, Sun / 3pm, 8pm

Tickets by donation:
RM30 (Adults) & RM10 (Students, senior citizens)

Beyond the hype - Past the prejudice - Through the fear

Some shots from the practice run... yes, b/w again.. and do excuse the excessive amount of 'hand' photos.. it's a recent obsession (As Ray puts it they are "..hand picked hand pics" *hee*). Hands are such fascinating tools of expression...

Abdul Manap in action in "Panah Beracun/The Poison Arrow"

Brian J. and Harjit discussing the play with the actors

Actors and audience members will move among each other as each story literally 'weaves' through the place..

Azahar takes over the lead in "Bakar" from the original actor who has since passed on :(

Azahar's hands tell as much of the story as does his actual narrative

Azahar again :)

Tet Fook taking time out to give some thoughts about his experience of being involved in this project

I love Harjit's face.. his eyes are quiet, strong, weathered and lead on to an old soul - one who looks out on life with deep knowing eyes...

Laura and Abdul Manap watching the play unfold..

Paul Gobi in "A Shaded Life"

Human Beings

2007-06-14T00:41:00.001+10:00

la la la .... :D

Washing Machine Woes

2007-06-03T15:29:00.000+10:00

I just pulled out my black shirt from the washing machine
and it was so spectacularly covered in lint that i thought i was my grey shirt...

*blek*

i have no idea why i feel compelled to share that with the world but i do.... I need sleep

*bzzzt*

Model Behaviour

2007-05-21T02:57:00.000+10:00

Cheryl, Sophie, Michelle and me @ Maroubra

I miss summer days by the beach :) (spot the fake jumper *heh*)

My lame-o-meter broke today..
for some reason it has just been a day of lame jokes - very painful.. and when some one as lame as me says they are very painful lame jokes, trust me, they must be bad ;p

Was having a conversation with Ray about an idea i had for a photo shoot assignment i was thinking of doing involving "dead" people:

Monsta! : but posing dead quite easy job, u just lie there though a bit contorted
me: hahahaha
Monsta! :heh, hope u find ppl who are willing to die for you
me: ....
Monsta! :so your models are going to get shot hur?
me: .... O_o"
Monsta! says: eh eh eh eh eh eh! your models right, must be drop dead gorgeous! HAHAHA
me: aiyoooooo... *faint*

Lame-ness aside, I am looking for people who are willing to model for me tho.. just a simple shoot, nothing too complicated :) So if you're in Sydney around... now, or if you know anyone here who'd look good dead, buzz me and i'll send you more details. Thanks!

I wish i was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair

2007-05-19T23:04:00.000+10:00

Taken at the boardwalk @ Darling Harbour, Syd one lazy Sunday afternoon..

I love lazy days where i feel alive and free
and can believe that anything is possible...

This song has been buzzing in my head the whole day.. but i don't mind, i like it! Dale sent it to me the other day when i was feeling down and i have to say it's quite infectious in a hippie-make-love-not-war way. My mom always tells me that i've been born too late since i'm into weird old stuff like snail mail and vinyl records and yes i do love flowers in my hair *happy sigh*

Been in such an amazingly happy mood today.. i think i've been getting enough of sleep :) it's the loveliest thing to wake up to blue skies, spend the morning talking to friends and family, have a slow walk through uni when it's quiet and you can hear the leaves rustling as the wind blows, gorge yourself on fish and chips with some friends under a tree in a little park and watch the beginnings of an early sunset, have warm milo when your fingers are freezing... then go home and zzzzzzzz and wake up when it's dark and have the house to yourself so you can sing happy songs like no one cares... *tra la..*

tis simple things that make me happy...

Making Magic

2007-05-11T01:06:00.001+10:00

Have dinner at ARIA, go watch Chick Corea, Sydney Symphonic Orchestra & Gary Burton perform at the Opera House then finish off with drinks at Opera Bar...
..now that's what you do when you're in Sydney :D

*happiness*

The performance was utter magic.. just magic. We knew it, they knew it - i really hope they make the recordings into a record.. as it is Chick hardly ever records with an orchestra and the orchestration under the spunky guidance of the conductor Johnathan Stockhammer was just amazing... at times in the first half Gary Burton (vibraphone/marimba) more or less stole the show. He's such an enigmatic guy to watch live and the fact that this complex jazz sound was coming out of what essentially looks like a glorified xylophone was quite bewildering - in a good sort of way.

We had these great seat smack in the middle of the row in the centre of the stalls.. close enough to see everything, far enough to get balanced sound *lovely*... the second half was where it got really interesting with some Corea favourites getting a revamp and remix with Gary coming in and the orchestra just making everything sound amazingly lush. The orchestra set a thick tapestry as a background and Corea and Burton just wove their way through it so beautifully - at times playing together as one instrument and at times going off on their own melodies. It really makes you wonder why they don't do more recordings with orchestras... *happy sigh*

It' been a while since i've been for a live performance that was this moving. One of my favorites of the nights was when the whole orchestra, Corea and Burton did this reinterpreted rendition of"La Fiesta".. WOW... i've never really liked the original recording of it but the one i heard tonight was really..wow... there was a point in it where i just closed my eyes and i could see it all - the little children running about, the dancers in their colourful dresses, the fanfare, the spirit, the confetti even *hahaha*.. What did it for me though was the encore when both Corea and Burton duetted on the vibraphones with a spontaneous version of Corea's "Spain"...

*standing ovation*

Listen to some tracks here and imagine them done live with an orchestra...

*happiness happiness happiness*

Now, i must return to my little hole in uni to live out the rest of the semester *bleurgh*

Chasing Rainbows

2007-05-09T00:24:00.000+10:00

"And i find it kinda funny, i find it kinda sad, the dreams in which i'm dying are the best i've ever had..
i find it hard to tell you, i find it hard to take, when people run in circles it's a very, very mad world..."

For some strange reason, this song has been stuck in my head the whole day. A classmate of mine used this song for a photo presentation and it just stuck.. i'm not in a depressive mood, no. It's just sorta.. contemplative. Like taking a step back and looking at the world and realising that it's a really, really surreal and strange place. We are a peculiar species.. we keep thinking we're so different from each other and yet we share habits, thoughts and emotions that are so similar that sometimes i wonder why we ever saw a divide in the first place. In a rather floaty and thoughtful mood lately. I think the combination of lack of sleep, long walks barefoot all the way home, some long conversations and too much tea & coffee has brought on a strangely sedated state of consciousness.

It feels like i'm dreaming when i'm awake and sometimes it feels like i'm more awake when i'm dreaming... this might actually work out for the better though. I've got this really interesting assignment where i've got to study my dreams and translate them into a collage of sorts *fun*

Anyways, i've been spending too many nights in uni on my 3D Max project (remember the white one i loaded the other day?). FINALLY, i'm done with it... a total of 30+ rendering hours later and this is what that model looks like now... i'm quite happy with it since it's taken me long enough to try to figure the program out :)

And now, i am going to go sleep. zzzZZzzzZzz....... enjoy.

The lounge-ish area.. sunshine through the window *whee*

A close-up view of the cocktails, bottle and candle holders i modeled.. had some fun playing with the depth of field in this shot... i love my pink cocktails!

An overall view of the bar area..

A closeup of my bar area (*whee* handles handles handles*)...

I love the reflections on my shiny black glass bar top :) this render took 7+ hours to render *ugh*... O_o"

Of Sedation and Sleep

2007-04-29T02:08:00.000+10:00

I am a tofu...
Really, i am...

I'm not hallucinating, not on meds or anything.. i just effectively feel.. like a tofu :D

I think the combination of too little sleep, too much dreaming and spending the past few hours with Jerms and Werns at the acoustic labs just listening to random pieces of (really interesting) music has completely drained me of anything useful and productive tonight. Seriously, take a listen to the track i put up.. float away on a cloud.

Two highlights: 1) for the first time i screamed my lungs out in the silent room at the labs.. like really just let loose and screamed.. haha didn't know i could scream that loudly :D ; 2) i got to sing with other people again after a long long time (like not the sunday morning church type but the jazz type..sorta).. the hallways in the Old Main Building are really nice and echo-ey at night when it's quiet..haha if only for a song or two it was great to just get it out there... *la la la*

Went shooting today at the Hillsong Church's REACH 2007 project @the Minerva High school in Sutherland. Twas fun but i got paint on my crumpler *grrr*... too sedated to process any photos tonight. Back to work tomorrow but for now i shall revel in this moment of calm. 'Tis rare these days...

London Skies

2007-04-25T23:03:00.001+10:00

"Nothing is certain except everything you know can change,
you worship the sun but now,
can you fall for the rain?"

- London Skies by Jamie Cullum

It's been rainy and oh so gray for the past few days.. it's starting to feel like London here in Sydney.. i miss my blue skies and sunshine. On the other hand though, i now have an excuse to wear my new hoodie to uni ;)

-----------------------------------------------------------

Oooh.. 3D Studio Max is way cool.. I've got a 3Ds Max class this sem so been learning how to use this software to model stuffs. Decided to try to model a design i did for my lighting design class this sem and i'm starting to really really like this software... :D

These are just some preliminary stuffs i've modeled so far. It's supposed to be a bar/lounge thingy. Haven't actually put in the lights and materials and all yet just some general lighting and the forms are in place.. need to add a bit more detail i think. Any comments so far? I'm just having fun with the test renders so have a look.. if the final ones turn out nice i'll post em up here too! *heee...*

The name of my bar/lounge is "eclissi" (eh-cleeh-seeh) meaning "eclipse" in italian - you get the idea.. anyways, everything here just rendered in gray scale so it looks like everthing's made out of porcelain (which i actually like).. another black and white post - sorry ;p

A peek at the interiors from the entrance area..

Close up view of the bar counter (see my little recessed handles??)

Front of the bar counter and feature wall...

Aerial view of the seating area and the bar counter..

Of Sunsets and Sighs..

2007-04-17T00:31:00.000+10:00

Sunset Silhouettes@ The Opera House
(Taken with my Sony Ericsson K610i cameraphone)

I hate Mondays..
I really really really do...

This one was considerably more vicious than the rest.. One of the worse things you can wake up to on a Monday morning after a week of Easter hols is your hp ringing after you've only had 2 hours of sleep, your friend on the other end of the line talking frantically about some submission deadline that you thought was one week away which is in fact 20 minutes away for work that you haven't done yet and won't be able to do in, well 20 mins.. or one day for that fact... *ugh* i justifiably have a reason to diss Mondays.. especially the mornings ;

I should really blog about happier things, like my box of Krispy Kreme donuts in the fridge or the fact that i've nailed making my own salad dressing and full salad from scratch or that my plant is still alive or that i had some killer pancakes at this 24hour place in Syd (like Paddington's Pancakes back home only bigger, badder and on speed)...

But i shan't because i'm a pseudo-emo-artistic-brooding-person who has a subconscious need to sound well.. like i'm brooding - which i am.

*Sighs*

At least this does give me an excuse to go to Kikki.k and buy some gorgeous (but freakishly over-priced) wall planner thing... i need to sleep (or shop).

...and i still need a hug (withdrawal symptoms - *spasm spasm*)

Free Hugs

2007-04-10T03:30:00.000+10:00

"Hugging has no unpleasant side effects and is all natural. There are no batteries to replace, it's inflation-proof and non-fattening with no monthly payments. It's non-taxable, non-polluting, and is, of course, fully refundable.." - Anon.

I need a hug.

For some strange reason, i woke up this morning and just realised that it's been a while since i've had a good hug...

Allow me a moment to brood..

Taken with my SonyEricsson K610i cameraphone @ O'Week 2007

Liquid Shadow

2007-04-07T12:50:00.000+10:00

"Water need not think to offer itself as home
for clear sunlight.."

Taken at the fountain just outside St. Mary's Cathedral, Sydney.

On it's own the fountain was this little boring stream of water, but when it gave itself up to let in the light, it just lit up. Coupled with the shadows it cast, it made this really pretty dancing body of liquid shadow that i quite liked watching...

**************************************************

Easter hols are finally here! i can't believe it's already mid-sem.. things just flew by.. Been having a good few days so far. Got this happy vibe in the air.. and the fact that i get more sleep helps too i think hehe. Got some fun shoots set up - circus, easter show, etc.. working on some photo projects at the mo so we'll see how that goes... Just a short update for now.. might post more later tonight if i can. Right now, i need to go finish my blueberry (yes it's fresh blueberries) pancakes and peaches.. Happy Easter!

Streetwise

2007-03-27T16:28:00.000+10:00

Tried some panning shots that day.. didn't quite get the ones i wanted but i think this one isn't too bad. Skaters@St. Mary's Cathedral.. (Ilford HP5 ISO400 with a linear polarizer filter)

The Woolworth intersection in downtown Sydney has got people crossing straight across the road and diagonally, as well. I took this during rush hour after work and it was such a busy area with so many ppl walking up and down. and yet, as i set the tripod to shoot, this sea of people parted instinctively around me. Felt like Moses really. It's amazing what you can do with a camera :) (Ilford HP5 ISO400 with a linear polarizer filter)

There seem to be a few things wrong with this shot.. but i don't know why i still like it so much. Maybe it's because it's in black & white or maybe it's because of the slight vignette but somehow, this shot looks like an old photo.. i like that :) (Ilford HP5 ISO400 with a linear polarizer filter)

McDonald's cheese burgers have got to be the saddest burgers in the world..
I'm looking at one now and i can't bring myself to photograph it to show you how sad it looks cos that would look too sad.

Even after i chuck on some extra ketchup and cheese.. it's still a small, sad little reminder of how absolutely daft it is to pay money for this sad sorry little burger... at least i had a coupon :D

**************************************************************************

Nuff bout my burger woes. I've recently started shooting film again for my black & white photography classes. Did a roll of Ilford XP2 and recently shot some Ilford HP5 ISO400.. It was the single most frustrating thing ever to move back to film after shooting digital. I didn't realise how reliant I'd been on the fact that i can switch ISO between shots, adjust saturation & contrast settings digitally, PREVIEW, get all your exif data stored immediately (manually logging your aperture, shutter speed, etc. for every shot is very VERY annoying) and have control of your white balance. You suddenly realise that every shot you take is precious, you've got to be more creative to figure out ways of getting the results you want, and you need a load of filters (or some nifty sunglasses or coloured glass to use as fake filters).

Shooting my first roll of Ilford HP5 was such a depressing experience that i was quite reluctant to go develop it myself the next day (tho i'd been looking forward to working in the darkroom for ages). Surprisingly tho, it wasn't as bad as i thought it would be. sure i had only about 8 - 10 usable shots from the 36 exposure roll but when i considered the fact that i usually only get a few good shots out of a digital CF card of 300++ shots, i felt much better. It was also kinda fun to wait and wait and wait to find out how your film turned out. Just the experience of handling your own film from shooting to developing to printing your own photos is really quite cool :D Besides, the grain you get is so lovely it's enough to make bad photos look better (sometimes - p/s: Please click on the photos above to open them in full-view in another window.. seriously, full-view it and check out the nice grainy dotty bits that the film gives, worth a look to compare it with the smoothness of the skater photo "Take|Off" that i shot on digital in my previous post :D ).

Shooting film sort of make me think twice about what i'm shooting, how i'm shooting it and whether or not i really want to shoot it. It's good in a way, you have only that many frames and you try to make all of them count for something..

Take Off

2007-03-23T23:35:00.000+11:00

Take Off..
to launch into flight or to run away..

It's interesting how those words can have such conflicting meanings. One moving forward, the other, moving back. Almost every situation in my life has, at some point, required me to face the question of take off - which way to go? Which brings one to the next question of - what next? In 'suspended animation' (my new favourite phrase) after take off, we're often left wondering what comes next. Do we land on both feet or crash and burn? Does this skateboarder nail the landing or wipe out? I suppose that doesn't really matter.. as long as he attempted it anyway..

Taken outside St. Mary's Cathedral, Sydney.

Some days...

2007-03-12T01:18:00.000+11:00

There's something quite magical about being on a boat.
Something quite adventurous and exciting :)

Taken on a ferry ride from Manly beach to Circular Quay. All of us out on the deck got suitably soaked about 5 minutes after i took this shot. Thankfully my camera was safely in the bag by then! *phew* Before i took this shot, i was drawn to the lovely way the blue blue sky matched up with the blue tops the two were wearing. When i looked through the viewfinder however, i knew it was going to be in black and white..

Been a long day today (and i don't necessarily mean that in a bad way.. went to church saw, had Vietnamese beef noodles (yum!), went to see an amazingly random photography exhibition (you have no idea... O_o"), had a listen to some good music, had a lazy walk along the cliffs at Maroubra Beach, went to uni for a group meeting and stayed there till 10pm... and it's only week two!

This is going to be some semester..

Terra Firma

2007-03-07T01:21:00.000+11:00

My first view of Australia from the sky..

Australia is really big..
really really really big.

And yet, in all it's vastness, it is still incredibly detailed. There seems to be so much to see, so much to do, so much to learn that sometimes it gets a tad bit overwhelming.

I never realised how different things could be after crossing a wee bit of sea to come over here. Took it for granted that since we speak the same language, the people, culture, place and just lifestyle in general would not be that different after all. But things turned out strangely foreign - not foreign in an obvious 'i'm in a different place' sort of way, just in a way that feels as if the same situation has a whole different translation over here than at home. The feeling of not knowing what to expect, what is expected of me and what i should expect is pretty nauseating.

Along with the inflating sense of adventure and curiosity that comes with being in a new environment, i'm also discovering a new sensation - that of realising that i am in fact, very very small. *bleep*

I'm Still Alive!!

2007-03-04T21:12:00.000+11:00

After a very long blog hiatus, i am back...
as usual, i'm using "blogging" as an excuse to procrastinate doing my work.

Classes just started last week and my head is still reeling from the information overload *eeps*

Over the past few week i've tried to blog so many times but somehow stuff kept coming up (read: i was really lazy..) so instead of actually typing stuffs and blogging, i wrote blog posts in my head.. *sads*

Anyways quick updates:
Grace got a new room, she loves the beach, she's eaten too much BBQ, Sydney harbour lights are very pretty at night, she loves being near big bodies of water, she also likes the blue blue skies, she went to Hillsongs church, rolled on the uni lawn, walked barefoot on the pavement, has a funky artist-architect-philosopher lecturer who always says "far out.." and met some really nice people... oh, and last night she went to see Mardi Gras 2007 *woot*..

Speaking of Mardi Gras... i did the stupidest thing ever *sighs* took my battery out to charge before the parade cause it was flat. I KNEW i was going to forget to put it back so i left a ton load of post-it note reminders all over my room saying "BRING CAMERA BATTERY!!!!". I even repeated that mantra to myself over and over again *sighs* but guess what.. i still forgot to bring it *slaps own forehead*

Thankfully another guy let me shoot a bit with his Sony Alpha but i couldn't figure out how to work the functions *grrrrrr* it took so friggin long to focus that by the time the camera decided to actually release the shot, what i wanted to shoot was gone (i hate it!!! - sorry smashpOp & Albert ;) i know you guys use that one). Oh well.. till i get the piccies from him, you'll have to settle for some short vids i shot with my new Sony Ericsson K610i mobile phone.. (my new gadget toy).

Twas the craziest introduction to Sydney you could get. Sometimes funny, sometimes painful, sometimes political, always outrageous - it was something of a traveling fun fair meets an over-sized lantern festival in a disco.. only very gay and very in your face. Will prob write more on it when i actually got pics to show you :)

These two vids i shot were of a marching (more like dancing) group called "Kylie's Impossible Princesses"... Imagine 3 trucks blasting every campy Kylie Minogue hit ever and tons of half naked (sometimes more than half..) people rocking it out to her hits.. i call them the KYLIE KLAN.. hehe i liked the pink "K" signs too.. they had glitter *whee* enjoy..

I'm a little red tomato...

2007-02-14T21:22:00.000+11:00

Yes, i've been in Australia for four days
and already, i'm sunburnt and fat *sobs* haha...

A few peculiar things i've encountered so far...

-most old Aussie houses don't have locks on their doors.. yeah, no locks on toilet doors either *whoops*

-apples, nectarines and rock melons and figs are actually really juicy fruits.. you wouldn't have guessed after eating all the dry-ish ones back home.

-you can slop on layers of sunscreen but that'll only save you from being sunburnt.. you can still get windburn *blek* and there's nothing much you can do about that.

-the sea may not be crystal clear but for some reason, it's still blue like crazy..

-Outback bush tomato chutney rocks my world...

-it's harder to get a cheap aussie/western meal than a cheap asian meal near where i'm living in Sydney..

-some parts of Sydney are more asian than asia.. (seriously, where else will you find vietnamese, thai, chinese, taiwanese, japanese, korean, indonesian, malaysian, singaporean and indian shops next to each other in a row?? *weird*

-there may be more than 6 platforms and more than 12 tracks in a train station in Syd but each track will still have more than 2 diff trains to diff destinations running on it.. (bye bye days of just finding the right platform and hoping on the next train, now i actually have to count the minutes to the right train *grr*)

In Melbourne now for a bit.. meeting up with Zahra soon me hopes! haven't seen her in a a while.. she needs to take me shopping real soon.. i'm having withdrawal symptoms ;p

Been round only to the outskirts of Melb so far, not really the city centre. Drove down to Geelong & Queenscliff today.. Mmmmsss fresh fish and chips at Princess Park by the beach was lovely.. the deep fried scallops, butterfish, prawns, calamari rings (sotong la but so big) and chips...mMmmMmMsss!!.. heaven wei... they say that Melbourne is the fashion and food capital of Australia.. i'm determined to prove them right :D

I Smell The Sea...

2007-02-10T23:35:00.000+11:00

My first blog post
from the land down under..

Honestly, i'm a bit too zoned out to really absorb actually being here. It feels quite like KL actually.. highways, buildings, warm weather (it's the same wei... *ish* only a tad bit windier) and i suppose having my family here and staying with family friends kind of buffers off the fact that i'm a few thousand km away from home - omg, the first flower i saw in the garden was a red Bunga Raya*blek*

Maybe tmw when i'm more awake, i'll be able to foray into discovering Sydney more.. hmms but first impression is that the air smells like i'm near water (which i am.. nice!) and the sky is so friggin' blue even when it's cloudy :D

Thanks to everyone who took the time to come by my place and the airport to say bye.. meant alot to me... miss you guys alot :(

Leaving On A Jetplane

2007-02-09T04:57:00.000+11:00

I've been meaning and meaning to post but somehow, i just never found the time to the past few weeks.

I'm leaving on the 10th of Feb (tomorrow) at 6a.m. ...

Flying off to study at UNSW, Australia. Feeling quite numb at the moment though.

Excitement + nervousness = numbness..

i suppose two extreme feelings kind of cancel each other out *blek* The next time i blog, it'd probably be from Sydney. I know this is a lame-O blog post to fill in the gap between my last post and my next post but oh well.. at least i tried. To everyone i didn't get a chance to meet up with before i leave KL, do take care & I'll see you guys soon la...

*cheers*

I miss home already *sighs*

In The Works..

2007-01-22T06:31:00.000+11:00

I really should get a move on this series :D
Coming soon...

Unsatisfied

2007-01-20T07:25:00.000+11:00

Taken while driving on the highway back home from Cyberjaya, KL. (Yes, i was driving and snapping.. last i checked they haven't banned that yet :D ..not that they should..)

"I've found many reasons to turn back
Cos i've been down that road so many times before..
..The places we're going
making me feel lost instead found.."

-from Traveler's Tune by Paolo Delfino

Traveler's Tune by Paolo Delfino (please click on "Traveler's Tune" to load the song)

It's not easy to really impress me. It's not easy to make me want to google like crazy to find out how i can load a song onto my blog without already knowing it's html code.. but today, i did.

why? Cos Ivan Gecko emailed me today and told me about his band. I wanted to know more about they're sound so he sent me this link of one of the guys involved. 'The guy' turned out to be Paolo Delfino. I've never heard of him before but his name sounded nice so i clicked "play"...

Warning: If you're in an emo mood, his music will definitely not help you out of that state..

Otherwise, i'm pretty sure you'll fall in love with his sound.. there's something about the uncliche lyrics in a cliche genre, the clean guitar riffs, the feeling deep down that this isn't just another emo song by just another emo artiste.

I'm up till 6a.m. listening to this stuff and for some reason it has reacted with my already reactive mood and imbued me with a seething need to make something or break something - don't ask why. So seeing as i've lost my little black sketchbook in which i fill with all my poems/songs/sketches (*sobs*) and Ray didn't have his guitar over the webcam.. i spent so long browsing through my old photo folders trying to find something suitably wistful to match how i feel. Came across this old shot i took with my Olympus C-760 early last year and thought "it will have to do.."

I just had to tell someone.. so, for now, this will have to do..

Breathe

2007-01-18T07:07:00.000+11:00

Balinese boys dance to a beat centuries old yet as real to them today as it was to those before them. Bali, Dec 2005.

All life has rhythm..
and i'm reminded of it each time i stop and breathe..

Breathe. Back in high school when i used to debate and do public speaking, the one thing i would always, ALWAYS write on my cue cards was "BREATHE!". I've always had the habit of forgetting to stop and breathe. This is why i'm ever grateful for nights like tonight where i can be with good friends, listening to good music and just talking. Nights like these help me remember that life is more than just a list of things to be done, it's more like a rhythm to be followed - to be found. It's funny how the one thing we barely even think about each day, is the very thing that keeps us alive.

Hit "play" on the player above to hear a lovely piano rendition of Amazing Grace (no, it's not an ego trip song praising me.. although, that's not entirely a bad idea...hehe). It's always been one of my fave songs just because it reminds me of all the things i have to be thankful for. In a rather wistful mood lately, been thinking about alotta things, reevaluating my priorities and other such emo things.

As i blog, it's now the 18th of January, 2007 which means that i have averagely another 2 weeks more in KL before i leave for Australia. I really didn't think that the move would affect me quite as much but apparently, i does.. *sighs* i go through random waves of extreme excitement and mellow-dramatic musings - do excuse me if i sound a bit schizophernic over the next few weeks ;p Happy Grace and Depressed Grace co-exist quite comfortably together - usually.

Anyways just to let you guys know, i'll be flying off on the 10th of Feb at about 6:00am i think (argh.. i expect to just stay up the whole night till morning la.. so early!!! ;p) so would really like to meet up with everyone before i fly off. Buzz me and lemme know when you're free, trying to plan out some sorta schedule to make sure i don't end up bumming away the rest of my time here in front of my new toy...

...yeah.. remember that new toy i was talking about getting? Well, i got it!! HAHA! In fact this is the first blog post i'm making using my new toy! Yays!! If you can't guess it now, you're blur-rer than i am la.. it's my new HP Mobile Workstation (can you say ATi FireGL V5200 baby? Nyahaha... ;D ) *Woo-hoo* My latest addition, to my nice little stash of girly gadgets! Hmm.. trying to think of a nice name for my newest gadget baby. Any ideas?

Contradistinction

2007-01-13T04:24:00.000+11:00

Half full or half empty?? Taken in Bali (which is miss dearly)..

So happy yet it is a 'happy' with the knowing that
there is still some 'sad' that lies beneath..

It's not like they're both the same thing, they're completely unrelated yet both feelings co-exist in a contradicting but distinct way - Contradistinction. I read that word off Jake's site and thought it perfectly described me now.

Anyhoo, emo-ness aside, I'm going to collect my new gadget baby tomorrow.. quite excited!! *EEeee* i'll show it to you when i've gotten it.. hehehe. For now, enjoy this song by Buzzcocks called Wish I Never Loved You.. and before the questions start coming in, NO the song wasn't chosen for the lyrics. I just heard it and thought that it was the happiest sounding sad song i've heard in a while. Kinda like what i'm feeling like now, happy but sad but neither but both *blek* Besides, the band name sounded catchy when i was browsing Sonific... ;)

*cheers*

On a side note, I've only got about a month more back home in KL before i fly of to Aussie next month :( I can feel the clock ticking down.. *tick tick tick tick*... *eep*

Of Love, Hate and Competitions..

2007-01-06T05:20:00.000+11:00

Love hate relationships.. Christine Ellis as Claire Standish & Kelvin Wong as John Bender (The Breakfast Club, A.L.M.S. Productions, 2006)

Love hate relationships..
are the most intriguing yet the most perplexing..

I love seeing results, but hate the hours of blood, sweat and tears I have to put in to get it. Love the new pair of Red by Marc Ecko sneakers that i bought (my first pair of sneakers - EVER!), hate the fact that they gave me blisters today. Similarly, i love the fact that i'm going to Sydney in about a month's time to study, but at the same time, i also really hate the fact that I'm going to miss so many people and so many things - partly thrilled, mostly terrified.. in a good way i think *heh* ai...

Some of you guys really liked the last song by Donna Burke that i put into one of my previous posts, so here another one of her tracks.. a sexier number than the last, has something to do with the title of me post too ;) *enjoy*

Anyways, as promised, more photos from THE BREAKFAST CLUB. It's still going on now so check out my previous post for more details. Here are some shots i took on my first night there. Stoopid me, i left my camera battery in the charger outside the hall so no shots from the 1st half of the play. Posting shots i took during the second part of the play after the intermission. It's a little like skipping the first few chapters of a book and heading right for the ending so if you're not the kind who like spoilers.. this is a warning - PLOT SPOILERS AHEAD!

The Breakfast Club 5 (Krystle's hiding behind Brana *eep*) baring their souls..

Sharing secrets after smoking up some 'happy herbs' :D *whee*

Kelvin's John Bender voicing his cynical views on life..

Krystle as Allison Reynolds & Brana as Brian Johnson. The funny thing is that during there really is a guy named Brian Johnson who's acting in this play as the janitor - i found that highly amusing ;)

John Bender: Why do you have so much shit in your bag?
Claire: Why do you have so many girlfriends? I guess i just never throw stuff away.
John Bender: Me too..

Andrew Clarke: What's wrong?
Allison Reynolds: Nothing...just go away!

Andrew Clarke: *smooch smooch*
Allison Reynolds: *eep* Eeeeewww!!!!!!!
Hehehe.. ok ok so i made up those lines ;) *hee*

"Brian Johnson: Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. But we think you're crazy to make an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us... In the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain...
Andrew Clarke: ...and an athlete...
Allison Reynolds: ...and a basket case...
Claire Standish: ...a princess...
John Bender: ...and a criminal...
Brian Johnson: Does that answer your question?... Sincerely yours, the Breakfast Club. "

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Since i've had to do ton loads o shooting lately, i joined a couple of photography website and forums to try to learn some new stuff. One of the photography sites a chanced upon was Photography Corner. I got some tutorials from there that i posted up in my previous post (remember that yummy sounding 'Orton Slide Sandwich' technique?).

Anyways, they're having a PhotographyCorner.com 2006 Photograph of the Year Contest and guess what? It's open to participants from most countries - including MALAYSIA!! I rarely come across web contests open to Malaysian as well let alone photography web contest open to Malaysian.. *yays!*

The prizes seem pretty cool too with up to USD14k in cash and prizes to be given away.. key term there "USD" as in if you convert it to our Malaysian "RM", you get almost 4 times more..

O_o"

Aside from the cash, there's also gift certificates (online photo/photography equipment retailers so you can still use it from outside the US of A - ProPics Express) , image software (Image Align pro), Lensbabies lens kits (omg, Albert, you HAVE to check out the lensbabies site.. it's the coolest little lens modification thingy! It lets you BEND your SLR Lens!!!), Lowepro gear, istockphotos gear, subscriptions, and other stuffs.

I've been going through their rules for the contest and so far the only catch i can find is that before you're allowed to enter the contest, you have to:

1. Register with the site (it's free anyways and pretty hassle-free) and..

2. Be a 'member of good standing' (meaning you need to have made at least 5 posts in the site forum - which is no big deal considering that upon joining the forums, you'd probably rack up those 5 psots in about 5 mins..)

Each person's only allowed to enter one photo so i'm having a tough time trying to decide which to submit.. ;p *choices, choices, choices...*

Anyways, the contest started in December 2006 and the closing date is end of January 2007 so we've still got time..

Going shooting with Albert, Asyraf, Pinkfrog, SmashpOp and crew tomorrow (hopefully) so i'm now a photog with a mission! It's harder cause there's no set category or type of photo that you can submit.. it can be anything under the sun *bleurgh* Wish me luck and have a go at it yourself. (P/s: if you read about this contest here and you enter and win, i hereby claim half of your total winnings for myself *muahahaha* ... hehe joking lar [not really] *blek* ;p).

This post was sponsored by PhotographyCorner.

The Breakfast Club

2007-01-05T04:53:00.000+11:00

The Breakfast Club, A.L.M.S. Productions, 2006: (Feat. The Oral Stage - L-R: Reuben W.J Kang, Krystle W., Branavan Aruljothi, Christine Ellis & Kelvin Wong)

"They only met once,
but it changed their lives forever.."

-from 'The Breakfast Club'

It's true though.. sometimes we remember the strangest people for the strangest reasons.. People come and go, paths cross, lives touch. I believe that everyone comes into our life for a reason. No matter how brief the encounter, every path we cross is meant to lead us on and to teach us more about ourselves and what we're capable of. Each person we meet opens up new possibilities, the smallest choices we make can have the biggest impact. Same can be said for me i suppose. Thanks to Reubens's recommendation, i got my first actual freelance photography gig (yeah, no more free freelancing this time *yay!*).

It's for this play entitled THE BREAKFAST CLUB happening now till the 7th of January, 2007 at the KR SOMA Auditorium, K.L.

I did the photography and design for them for their publicity material (postcards, posters, tickets, promo shots, etc.) and event stuff as well.. was quite nervous about it at first - had to learn to use Illustrator and finish the ton load o editting/design work while still busy with Chritmas, New Year and going off to Aussie land- but i'm glad i took it on. Was quite the learning experience i have to say and a HUGE thank you to Kok Keong who helped me in this gig. *hugs*

Anyways, i've been shooting at the venue for 2 nights now and I can see the show improving with each night. Got Albert the Camera Pornster , Asyraf Lee and Fazri some free tics to go see it and pimp it on the preview night. Do check it out if you're free the next few days and show some love to The Oral Stage guys acting in it. Details are as follows:

Postcard front..

Postcard back..

I'll be going again to shoot during the 3pm show on 7th Jan. '07. Drop a hi if you're going during that show - I'll be the girl with the camera bouncing along the aisles :)

Some promo shots i did for them before the play.. If you're gonna rip some pics from my blog to use for personal reason or to post on your blog/website, PLEASE leave a comment and/or link in this post or drop me an email. Please also respect the copyright of this work by not removing the watermark, thanks ;)

Here goes..

Andrew 'Sporto' Clarke (Reuben W.J Kang) & Allison 'The Basketcase' Reynolds (Krystle W.)

Claire 'The Princess' Standish (Christine W.) & John 'The Criminal' Bender (Kelvin Wong)

Richard 'Dick' Vernon (Andre D. D'Cruz) & Carl 'The Janitor' (Brian D. Johnson)

"..something wicked this way comes!"

TBC - The boys (Kelvin, Branavan, Reuben)

'Dick' & 'Carl'..

More shots of 'The Making of: TBC - Practice Session' and the actual production in my next post!

*cheers*

P/s: Sorry i can't turn off Auto-play of the song from my previous post - can't access the song source website since the cables are down. you can manually pause the music by clicking the pause button (duh ;p) on the player embedded in my previous post.) Also, I can't log into Photobucket so i can't change my header!! *grr* Still Christmas for me till the internet is up and running well again..

A Quiet Night

2006-12-27T04:53:00.000+11:00

Another macro shot taken in Fraser's Hill with my reverse mounted lens and post processed with a digitised version of the Orton Slide Sandwich technique (detailed below)..

It's the day after Christmas
and i'm in the laziest mood ever...

I'm sitting here, in my new La Senza Ultra Soft bathrobe lulling away at the soft jazz in the background just relishing the lovely lazy feeling of not wanting to do anything in particular. After the mad rush leading up to Christmas, it seems as if it was but for a moment. It came and passed all too soon and left me still breathing deep in the scent of its memory. Feeling a tad mushy all over for some reason. Maybe it's the reality kicking in that in about a month's time i'll probably be missing home like crazy or perhaps i've just been so caught up in things that when it suddenly mellows out, i'm still in a daze. Whatever it is, it's driven me to want to do nothing more than sit back, cuddle in my bathrobe with a warm drink, and muse about life in general..

I found this song on Sonific that perfectly describes how i'm feeling right now. It's called "Quiet Night" by Donna Burke.. listen and float away with me on this cosy cloud of reverie..

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A lil bit on some photography - i recently joined this site called Photography Corner and came across this ahort tutorial on a technique called the Orton Slide Sandwich. It sounded yummy so i gave it a shot digitally with the macro photo at the top of this post. Basically this technique produces rather saturated and dreamy looking pictures perfect for reflecting lazy hazy moods or for creating a bit of a watercolour wash effect with a slight colour halo around the main subjects. Either way, how can you resist a photog technique with the word "sandwich" in it? *stomach growls* Anyways, here's a 5-step explanation of how to get it done in Photoshop (sorry Mac-cers but i'm only putting in the windows shortcuts here):

Open any image you want - try to opt for colour portraits with little background distractions, landscapes or sweeping macro shots for best results (i tried some on b/w photos but it just came out yucky..)
Select the background layer and press [Ctrl + J] to duplicate the layer.
Select the copied layer in the layers tab and change the layer blend mode to "Screen".
Press [Ctrl + J] again to duplicate the "screen" layer. Go to "Filter">"Blur">"Gaussian Blur" and select a radius of about 10 - 25 depending on your file size - generally, the bigger the file, the higher the radius number.
Select the blurred layer and change its layer blend mode from "screen" to "multiply". You will now have a highly saturated image with a slighty dreamy effect.

To tweak it further, you can play with the opacity of the blurred layer (bring it down to about 65% if the image is too blurred and too dark) or duplicate a second "screen" layer under the blurred layer and lower it's opacity to about 45% to brighten up the photo without loosing any of the watercolour-wash effect.

Another tip when using this technique on portrait shots - if you think that the effect makes the eyes in the shot look too fuzzy, select the blurred layer in the layer palette and use a lasso tool with a feather of about 1 - 2 px to select all the eye area. Right click on the photo then select "Layer via cut". You can now lower the opacity of the blurred layer over the eyes without affecting the opacity of the blurred layer over the whole picture.

Try it yourself and let me know how it turns out!

I'll take this advantage to camwhore and show you another example of what this technique does to a photo (click on the photo to download a larger image):

Without the Orton Slide Sandwich, you can see the fugly little bumps of texture on my face. The shot is also a tad harsh looking with a slight grey-ish tint to the whole photo.

With the Orton Slide Sandwich (yeah, i just like saying that phrase), it gives a softish glow to the shot and brightens up the skin tones. It also makes the skin tones less dull looking - a generally kinder effect for human portraits..

All I Want for Christmas...

2006-12-23T05:09:00.000+11:00

My first reverse macro shot *dances happily* Bzzzzzz....

I’ve speed walked, climbed stairs, did crunches and lifted weights all day and I still managed to go home smiling about it..
Shopping is the most amazing workout ever.

So I thought I was done with my Christmas shopping but I STILL had to be dragged out of bed to go shopping again today cause my mom had tons of presents on her list to get. I’ve become something of a Christmas Consultant in my house *blek*.

Anyways, we were almost done except for this one person for whom we couldn’t, for the life of us, figure out what to get for Christmas. After my mind turned up blank for the 100^th time, I suggested the one thing Ms. Etiquette on msn.com condemned to the depths of gift etiquette hell – “Why don’t we get her a gift card?”

Mom: *silence* Huh?
Me: A gift card you know like gift vouchers only nicer la.. shiny *hee*

That sort of made me think about this whole gift giving thing during Christmas. Seems to me that the whole point of gift giving these days has been more or less reduced to fulfilling social obligation – which is sad since the gift giving tradition was meant to show the other person that you really did take the time to think about giving them something that would make them happy. That is precisely why the gift card is seen by some as the ultimate evil in gift giving – it reduces the “I thought you might like this” to “Here, think about what you like yourself”.

Here’s the irony though.. even though gift cards tend to say “I don’t know you well enough to know what you like”, I actually, honestly, still like them.

Seems too many ghastly novelty santa mugs and other horrendously misfitting presents have decensitised me a bit to the sentimental notions of the Art of Giving and lead me to the path of “Please just let me choose what I want” – terrible. Ah well, at least we only had to get a gift card for the last person on the list.. *consoles self*

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Grace's bimcbo shopping psychology #001:
Buying things for other people makes you happy but buying things for yourself while shopping for other people makes you happier.

Been surfing the net and checking out stuff I need/want for Christmas. Planning on spoiling myself a bit or at least convincing someone (Pa, if you’re reading, this is a HUGE hint..) to spoil me with something nice.

Was browsing for HP laptops and stuff when I came across this interesting post entitled “Get Ted's HP Gear!”. Turns out “Ted” just got a shipment of ten awesome new 6 megapixel digital cameras and photo printers from his “friends at HP”. You can check out some of these cool stuff here.

”Ted”, it seems, is giving away some HP photo gear to 5 people who can tell him a smashing sob story about why they want a new 6mp HP camera and HP photo printer.

FINALLY, someone’s openly invited me to whine about why I need more photo gear – and he’s willing to give it to me if I whine really well too! *coolness* haha...

Here goes:

Dear (Santa) Ted,

I really really really really REALLY need (read: want) a new HP 6mp camera and HP photo printer because I’ve been a really good girl this year. I’ve done countless freelance (read:literally, free) digital camera assignments for friends and family members and my current gear has got real worn out real quick. A brand new HP camera would really save me from having to squint at terribly scratched up screen of my current compact camera. Besides, my current compact digital camera is only a measly 3.1mp!! There are webcams with higher mp than that.

Please Ted (read: Santa), give me a new 6mp HP camera so the other kids won’t laugh at me and I won’t have to become a recluse and hide under a rock. Some others may say that I already have a dslr camera but Ted (read: Santa), please don’t be fooled by them. I still need (read: want) a HP camera because you just can’t lug a dslr around in your handbag everywhere, everyday. A huge dslr isn’t exactly a fashion statement either. After all Ted (read: Santa), a slim and sexy new cam would really complete my outfit this Christmas *smiles innocently*.

As for the photo printer, that’s a no brainer – my current printer is clogged so until and unless I get a new one, it’s no more printing photos for me. Think about how disappointed my sweet old grandma will be when she expects me to print sharp, vivid family photos for her this Christmas in a jiffy with my amazing new HP photo printer (yes Ted, I am sucking up..) and I have to tell her that I don’t have one… Oh, the horror.. *pretends to faint in horror* Think about it this way Ted (read: Santa), if you give me a HP photo printer, it would go so well with the HP laptop I’m planning to get soon (yes, I’m sucking up again).

Anyways, I think that that’s about enough of whining to get my main intentions across. I just want to spread warm happy feelings around by using new HP photo gear to help friends and family and make the world a happier place (read: I just want cool new HP gadgets to show off to everyone so I’m sucking up big time to you and your “friends at HP” in order to possibly get it).

Love (not really),

Grace.

P/s: This post was brought to you by HP.

digital camera

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On the topic of gadgets, Albert recently made some reverse mount lens rings for me but I haven’t been able to play with them properly until I went to Fraser’s Hill for the Youth camp.

It’s so much fun to go poking at stuff with this weird looking hybrid lens. I think I get something like a 1:2 scale image with it. Aside from the irritating black ring around the shot and the fact that control over my d.o.f. is more or less non-existant, it’s works really well for something that cost only about RM30 - RM40 (can’t remember exact figure). Scroll up and check out the alien looking bug i shot on a flower. I used my 18-75mm kit lens and a reverse mounted my 50mm lens on the end to shoot it.. I thought he looked so cool with the three dots on his head.. like something out of star wars *heee...*

Shopping with a Vengence

2006-12-20T06:19:00.000+11:00

My very own father Christmas in front of our tree last year...

Whirlwind of a day..
while Christmas shopping with a vengence.

I got round to making my Christmas list today after teaching my last class for 2007 (freedom!!). Then, i proceeded to do an intensive shopping spree in the afternoon and managed to shop for 85% of my Christmas list-ees in 3 hours. So proud of myself *pats self on back*. T'was quite fun running around the mall with tons and tons of shopping bags. I had flashbacks of girlie movie shopping scenes where the female (blonde) lead tosses her head back, laughs giddily, holds up tons and tons of bags and says "I LOVE SHOPPING!! *strikes pose with arms raised, hips cocked to one side and one leg coyly bent in front of the other* ...

Now comes the sorting and wrapping *hehe*. I say that with equal amounts of excitement and agony cause it's a love hate thing for me when it comes to wrapping. On the one hand i LOVE wrapping presents and making them look pretty and all. On the other hand, i always wish i had more time.

Right now by bed is piled high with shopping bags and wrappers.. i wonder where i'll sleep tonight.

Ooooh, haha i thought i'd Christmas-fy my blog and decorate my header with some Christmas deco.. scroll up and check it out! tra la la...

Some holiday fun - found this on Youtube and thought it was cute :D

*Enjoy*

Only Cause It's Christmas..

2006-12-20T04:34:00.000+11:00

Say hi to Rafael, the most hyperactively adorable kid at VBS 2006.

God has a wicked sense of humour..
..and sometimes, that's what makes life all the more fun

Just got back from Youth Camp on Sunday - had a blast doing stupid things that grace always does (like convincing my sis and another friend to creep down 5 flights of open stairways at 5a.m. in the mist and rain in Fraser's Hill, under a brown blanket which renders your line of vision to the space between your two feet (think "lion dance" kinda under-blanket-ploodding), in order to totter down a hill, through a shed, up a drain and over some otherwise unidentifiable black objects in the darkness and cold, to break into the resort hall, climb through a window and rescue my beloved camera bag from spending the night alone in a quiet, lonely hall) *hee*...

O_o"

Been staring away at my comp screen since then finishing up some poster designs for "The Breakfast Club". Will make a post on more details of the show soon - for now, i've just sent out the last of the promo designs for printing and i'm a tad bit sick of looking at them *blek*

On a happy-happy-joy-joy note though, the postcards just came in today *yays!* (although pay hasn't yet *bleurgh*) It's kinda surreal to see your work in print.. they turned out a tad bit blue-er than i wanted them to but oh well. Gotta get my screen calibrated *argh*

Anyone knows how to calibrate LCD flat screen monitors? Or can they even be calibrated?

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Speaking of Fraser's Hill and the cold there,
i had a sad, sorry revelation today..

I'll most prob get real fat when i go to Sydney next year

*sobs*

The cold weather just made me want to eat and eat and eat for no apparent reason other than the fact that i wanted to.. die la.

But since i'm on the subject of eating, going to continue posting a few shots from the Kid's VBS that i blogged about earlier. Shot these while they were eating *yum!*

Munch.. munch.. munch... growing boys need to eat :D

..So do girls..

I call this one "Happy Cakes". I loved them to bits!! This kid celebrated his birthday at the VBS and instead of getting him a cake to cut (which would have been messy and generally a fuss when you have masses of eager children to feed), she got these lil decorated cupcakes from CeliCakes in Hartamas instead!! They spelt out HAPPY BIRTHDAY JEN HAN in bright colours with rows of other equally adorable cupcakes around the wordings. I thought it was a really really interesting idea! Just sing a song, blow the candles and grab a cup cake.. no knives, no mess and NO extra plates.. Besides how can you resist smiling around something that looks this happy?? *cheers*

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Christmas is coming!!
It just sneaked up on me this time..

Haven't done up the tree yet or even made out my Christmas list.. not to forget Christmas shopping!!! *does a happy dance*

It's about the 7th day of Christmas already. This time of year always fills me with heady feelings and a generally constant sense of warm fuzzies.

Christmas dinners are starting tomorrow.. it's gonna be dinners every night till after Christmas from now on.. more eating! hehe..

While i may not have done my Christmas list yet, i decided to make a list of all the things i love about Christmas..

Grace's Top 30 Christmas Time Favourites

Warm fuzzy feelings
Heady happy feelings that make me stare off into space and smile like an idiot to myself for no apparent reason
Christmas lights & Christmas colours
Holidays
Quiet nights just sitting by the tree in the dark, watching the lights twinkle with my dad, just talking
Noisy family dinners
Snowflakes, though i've never actually seen a real one :(
PRESENTS!!
Dinner parties
Wrapping presents and decorating them
Turkey and stuffing.. lots of it
Sugar Plum Fairies
Laughing
Making a mess in the kitchen
Making a mess in the hall putting up the tree
Designing and putting up the tree
Shopping for everyone on my list
Festive sms-es from friends i don't hear from otherwise
REAL Christmas cards that i get in the mail (including the beautiful handmade cards i get from my Aunt Liz every year)
Shops playing christmas songs
Christmas deco everywhere!!
Christmas Cake
Christmas Pudding
Popping crackers
The kid's play at church
Carolling
Singing like a crazy person with my sis
Dancing in my room
Hugs
Christmas JAZZ!!

Christmas Jazz always puts me in that lazy, mildly sentimental mood.

Putting in some for you to listen to here while reading.. enjoy..

Back from Blogging Oblivion

2006-12-13T03:57:00.000+11:00

Edward being Edward..

The common peculiarities and peculiar commonality in each day make them the same in a unique way..
O_o

Just a random thought buzzing round my head. Been encountering lot's of weird things (and people) recently.. but if weirdness is normal then is it still weird? Or is it then normal?

Hmm...

Anyways, i'm back from blogging oblivion once again. After christening my new blog template and subsequently disappearing for some time, i've decided to update my blog again... before i disappear for yet another week!! *hehe*

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Went to Singapore again last week, this time with my mom and sis too. Spent 2 days carrying my camera bag around Singapore and i DIDN'T SHOOT ANYTHING!!! Why? Cause all they wanted to do was shop *argh*

Three years ago and i would probably have not wanted to do anything but shop. This time, i was so bored. Fail la my shopping skills.. didn't get anything but a boring shirt and (for lack of better terminology) a fish stick (really.. it's a stick with a fish at the end.. hehehe).

Sadness.

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JustinBear tagged me *blek*.. Here it goes:

Four things many don't know:
1) When i was young, i used to dig my nose and wipe the boogers on other people's pants.
2) I believe that i was swapped at birth and i'm really royalty.
3) I don't really like chocolate that much (although there are exceptions of really really good ones - Godiva anyone? :) )
4) I will deny this vehemently if you ask me, but i secretly dream of becoming a popstar.

Four movies i can watch over and over:
1) Life is Beautiful
2) Love Actually
3) Life is Beautiful
4) Love Actually (.. what you said over and over wert ;p )

Four places i have lived:
1) Taman Mayang
2) Taman Tun Dr. Ismail
3) Bandar Utama
4) ???

Four TV shows i love:
1) Prison Break
2) America's Next Top Model (it's a love hate relationship with this one)
3) Nip/Tuck
4) Desperate Housewives

Four places i have been on vacation:
1) Bali
2) London
3) Paris
4) America

Four places i'd rather be:
1) In Venice at night, floating down the canals in a beautiful 18th-19th c. dress, gorgeous Venician guy at my side, soft music playing in the air, the smell of water and night air mixing with the rustic smells of an old and poetic place.. and little lights flickering in the windows above, each telling of a different story beyond the windows and light curtains through which they glow.
2) In a ski lodge in front of a warm fire, cuddled on a big fluffy couch with a blanket, cuppa hot chocolate and someone to share it with.
3) Watching a movie.
4) In my bed, sleeping.

Four of my favourite foods:
1) Famous Amos cookies
2) Ice cream!!
3) Raw meats - shashimi, steak tartar, fresh oysters.. you get the idea.
4) (*This space intentionally left blank in representation of the everchanging food moods of grace)

Four songs i love:
1) Somewhere Over The Rainbow/What a Wonderful World, Israel Kamakawiwo O'le
2) I'll Be, Edwin McCain Band
3) You Belong To Me, Jason Wade
4) Whenever, Whatever, Wherever, Maxwell

Four other people who will be tagged:
1) Albert aka. the Camera Porn-ster
2) Hui Wen the smartest self-declared bimbo i know (hey that rhymes! :D )
3) Yi Khai the "Matt-nificent" (cause i know he's too busy to do this.. )
4) RayRay aka. Yellowmonsta (i don't care if he's already been tagged)

Done!! *phew*

Till next week - Adieu..

Pink Explosions..

2006-11-29T19:25:00.000+11:00

I swore i would never have a..
pink blog..

Please forgive me :)

Heheh.. i was so sick of the old boring template so i attempted to modify a new one. Got some base images from Drogue Design and proceeded to violate them by addings happy graphics and turning them PINK! *whee* It didn't start out that way, the pink sort of just attacked me. The irony is that after spending so much time trying to figure out the html and graphics gibberish, i'm now finally done with the new template, but i'm now also already sick of it!

*Argh*

I'm half considering switching back..

Still white background. Why? Cos i'm too lazy to re-colour all the other words and stuff. Hmm.. maybe i'll start worknig on a new one now..

:D

Of Kids and Kranky Moods..

2006-11-27T05:08:00.000+11:00

I was randomly blog hopping when..
I had an epiphany..

I WANT A FAMOUS BLOG!!!

I want endorsements and free stuff and lots of site hits and free stuff and advertisement revenues and free stuff and and and... you get the idea. Anyways being the geek that i am, i set forth to find out what it takes to "Have a Famous Blog".

It seems that there are several things you can do or be in order to achieve that status:

Be a bimbo blogger (like, duh..)
Be a HOT bimbo blogger (like, double-duh..)
Be cynical about being Malaysian
Have a famous boyfriend
Love cheese
Have a lot of blogger friends
Camwhore like your life depends (check!)
Post your camwhore pics like your life also depends on it (hmms... we'll have to work on that)
Blatantly advertise for events, venues, products (SONY, i love you!! Please give me a new laptop! I promise to shamelessly advertise for you on my site!)
Party a lot and blog about it (Woo-hoo!)
Eat a lot and blog about it (*burps*)
Have an alter-ego (Finally, something i can work with..)
Product placement, product placement, product placement!!
Post losts of photo comics with healthy smatterings of speech bubbles (not to forget the cute expression *blink blink*)
Sing, dance or act in your very own youtube series (the less talented the better..)
Be Kenny Sia (or i could just abduct him and force him to pimp my site.. *muahaha*)
Be explicit
Sell your soul to the evil blogging devil..
Have a cute nickname
Be already famous (*ish*)

Hmm... this is depressing. I shall crawl back into my little hole in cyber-space now.

*bleep*

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now that i got that out of my system, on to something more fun. PiCtUrEs!! *whee*
Some stuff taken at the Artic Edge VBS 2006@FCT.. I got dizzy just watching the kids run around. Try to follow them with a little viewfinder, you'll get what i mean.. Shooting kids gives me a weird little nostalgic-wistful feeling though. Some of them just have this spark in their eyes that i can't quite discribe. The look of hope, happiness and blissful innocence..

O_o

She's such a darling to shoot..

I like sitting on the floor.. chairs are so restrictive don't you think?

Dreaming, learning, creating...

Liling and her son..

"Singsparation" time.. la la la..

Freezing...

More to come :D *cheers*

In the mood...

2006-11-25T06:54:00.000+11:00

The quiet in the stairway watching over the boys as they hurried down towards the light, VBS 2006, FCT.

It feels as if so much has happened..
without much really happening at all...

In my head, i've already blogged about 3 times so far this week.. Each time i get an idea to blog about something, i make a mental note of it in my head, layout the sentences, choose the photos to post.. and after that, i assume, i'm done. I used to do that with my diaries too - i'd make mental entries to my journals and then when it got to time to actually put things into writing, i was already bored *terrible*..

Been working a lot with kids these past few days.. *Ahhh* going crazy!!! Worked hard the past week making props and doing the backdrop/settings for the recent VBS in my church.. HUGE thanx to Ray & KokKeong@SamuraiBoy for their help *hugs* More pics of that to come soon!

All the running around settling my uni stuff for next year was driving me nuts as well *blek* Glad that's done now :)

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Mmmms... been on something of a shopping-spree-ish mood the past few days. Nyahaha.. went bought 2 pairs of shoes and some nice little toys for my computer. Checked out some laptops too! So many laptops so little time.. was like a kid in Toys'r'us wei.. *heeee* nice. Headiness was further enhanced by the Lego Star Wars session at Ray's place (so amazingly cute! Go check it out)

*shwong shwong shwong shish boom kerpiang - Monster die - YAY!!!*

then, i got home..

*boosh* happy bubble died...

I found out that the Bantus Brasil Fiesta night was on tonight when i got home and turned on my comp tonight *aih* Please, if you see me, knock me on the head.... I was so looking forward to it :( .. for some reason, i've been itching to go dancing so badly this week - so so SO SO SO badly. Was especially jumpy tonight too. ARGGGHHHHHHHH... GONE, no more samba for me. I shall now procede to go sulk in a corner.

Goodbye world..

Goodnight & goodbye...

Caught on Camera

2006-11-18T04:30:00.000+11:00

IR Grace caught on camera! Thanks to albert for taking the shot :)

It's happening again...
I can't chew or talk properly...

I hate wisdom teeth!!!!!

I REALLY REALLY HATE THEM!!!!!!!!!

*argh*

Anyways.. since i can't really eat anything solid.. decided to indulge in a little pint of pleasure otherwise known as BASKIN ROBBINS! *yays*

Seriously, i honestly believe that there are few things in life that can't be cured by a healthy dose of either ice cream or Famous Amos cookies.. :)

Been so busy lately running around with a thousand things on my mind. Just want to get things settled and done with so i can really really just relax.. *sigh* i miss Bali..

Silences

2006-11-08T16:27:00.000+11:00

To live is but a dream..
Now we are, now we are no more..

For one time is, for another it is no more,
And the silence of existance shatters, glimmers,
Then flows back into the stream of life
The constant cycle of eternal consiousness and temporal sleep
With the promise of meeting again
At another moment in time..

In loving memory..

Mirror Mirror

2006-11-08T06:46:00.000+11:00

Self-reflection in more ways than one..

It's sorta reached a point where..
I'm just gonna jump and hope for the best..

You know that feeling you get when you're nervous and excited and everything in between all at the same time? Yeah.. that's what it feels like now. Got some things that have been brewing and brewing for some time and i'm starting to get them settled now. Always a good thing :)

More or less decided on where i'm headed to next year. Will blantantly post about it once everything's gone through.. Got another photog project in the works too! Will also blatanly post on that once it gets on the way. *Predicts exciting times ahead!* *whee*

********************************************************

Meanwhile.. some pics from Comedy Freeflow@Actor's Studio Bangsar. While i whole-heartedly applaud their intentions and efforts in staging this gig.. i have to say that though i went in there without expectations, even my non-expectations were not met :( Anyhoo, i entertained myself through it all by snapping pics of the audience..

Kaypopotamus and his camera.. for some reason the place was crawling with photog with scary camera gear that day *click click click*

Another random person in the audience whom i found more interesting to shoot then what was going on on stage..

Hmm.. i like it better this way :D

Ondulé

2006-11-04T05:28:00.000+11:00

Ondulé..
and all we can do is ride the wave..

meaning: (French) Undulating...

Sometimes, i wish i didn't have to feel as such..

black and white

2006-11-01T05:07:00.000+11:00

Matthias has purty eyes...

I like black and white images...
there's black, there's white, then there's the grey in between...

"I dream in techni-colour but i see in black and white"

It hit me the other day as i was talking to a friend - I like black and white images. I like them because without the distraction of colour, we can see things for what they really are. It's like a stripped down version of reality - there's absolute black, absolute white and then there's this vast grey that connects them.

Grey areas.. the indecisive area in between. The unity of extremes, the best of both worlds, the essential connection between the two absolute contrasts. And while most see the black and whites, overlooking the grey.. it is no less essential to the composition as a whole. Without the grey to fill in the blanks in our lives, things wouldn't make much sense. Without the transistions in between, we'd never draw the link from one end to the other. After all, few things in life are ever black or white so why should we see that way?

Yeah, grey is good.

sorta.

Dream of a dream

2006-10-25T14:47:00.001+10:00

Yesterday, i was sleeping on the couch..
dreaming that i was sleeping on the couch, dreaming that i was sleepnig on the couch..

O_o

Life's kinda like that sometimes, isn't it? When you finally think that you've woken up into reality, you go about your day only to really wake up later and find that what you thought was real was only a dream. Sometimes, the real real is better than the dream. Sometimes, it's not. But when you think about it - which is more real? The reality that really is, or the reality you choose to believe? Besides, who's to say that the reality you choose to believe isn't real at all?

Don't mind me, i'm musing.

Just realised that this would be the first time in a long time that i've blogged during sane daylight hours.. *weirds*

Anyways, to all my Hindu & Muslim friends..

Happy Deepavali & Selamat Hari Raya

Speaking of which, i gotta run off for a raya open house in a bit. Just a quick post of the rest of the pics we took during our zoo-rific trip :D *enjoy*

Bambi!!

Angry ostrich - she doesn't like paparazzi ;p

"Maybe if i pretend to sleep, they'll get the hint and stop disturbing me.."

Big Fish = Big Fish O Fillet *yum* (sorry i haven't had my breakfast yet..)

grumpy giraffe - he was making all these farny faces at me!

I think it's quite ironic how it takes squinting and looking through a small hole in a black box to help us to see better sometimes...

Behind the lens - Me! Thanks to SJ for the pic..

Behind the lens - Sian Jeen's GQ look

Behind the lens - Joanne smiling sweetly

Behind the lens - Yi Khai pretending to look at his watch :D

Teddy and me... they both have such cute lil dark eyes :)

This lil guy found some strange creature to look at..

I think he just found a stranger one.. @_@"

Artistic shot of friends.. (me first time using a warming filter :D)

Semi-artistic shot of friend.. (i make a cameo - spot me!)

Not-very-artistic shot of friends.. *hehe* L-R: SianJeen, Joanne & YiKhai doing their kawaii girl pose.